Is there a calendar date more emotionally turbulent than December 31?
New Year’s Eve manages to be exciting, disappointing, stressful, awe-inspiring, hopeful and kind of depressing… every single time. You can put it down to a potent mix of ‘new year, new you!’ rhetoric, the pressure to mark the occasion in style and the torture of resolution-making..
In the spirit of celebration, here are the 12 inevitable stages we’ll all go through tonight. So… cheers to that?
3pm: “Could my expectations BE any higher?”
This is it: the year you finally nail New Year’s Eve. It’s going to be the best night of your life, damnit, and you’ve got a ripper party outfit, freshly bronzed cheeks and an endless supply of champagne and chunky chili-basil dip (hello, the fancy $4.50 stuff) to ensure it happens.
5:20pm: “I’m havin’ such a good time, I’m havin’ a ball.”
Let’s just talk straight for a moment: this will be the peak of the entire night. Enjoy it. Watch: How to stop your makeup from eating your face this NYE. (Post continues after video.)
8pm: “Right. What am I going to do for the next three hours…?”
You’ve finished all the good drinks, you’ve got a chip-and-dip-induced stomach ache, and the night isn’t even close to over yet. Is there seriously three more hours of this to go…? (Post continues after gallery.)
9:04pm: “Can I go home now?”
You don’t always long for the days of your childhood, but you kind of wish it was still socially acceptable to go to bed after the 9pm fireworks. At this point, you’re cooked. You’re done. You’re full and you’re sleepy and you’re not convinced you’ll even make it to midnight. Is this adulthood? You want out.
9:37pm: "Ugh, this was a TERRIBLE idea."
It doesn't matter if you're camping out for fireworks or at the hottest nightclub in town: there comes a time of the night where you will bitterly regret your NYE activity of choice. This is that moment.