'I help people who are feeling stuck in their lives. Here's what everyone should know.'

I remember thinking the highlight of my day was when my head hit the pillow at night. The only way I got through work was the thought of my next holiday. 

I felt like I was going through the motions and living on autopilot. 

It felt disheartening, demotivating, and boring. I was stuck in a rut - wishing away the days, weeks, and years. If we fast forward to now - I am dedicated to helping people, so they don't have to feel the same way.

Watch: Ways to ease your anxiety. Story continues after video.

For many of us, the second half of the year can drag on as we look forward to the summer holidays. During this time, we may feel a little unsatisfied with our lives and maybe a bit lost or stuck. One of the problems, when we feel this way, is it is hard to pinpoint the cause. But with a little self-reflection and forward momentum, we can look forward to our days and stop longing for the future.

It's no surprise we get stuck.

The first thing to know is our brains crave the comfort of safe routines. Routines reduce the brain's need to think consciously and the status quo ensures we stay out of danger (this is our cave dweller brain keeping us away from predators etc.). So, living on autopilot is our brains looking after us. However, this doesn't help us if our current routines are making us unsatisfied.

An added complexity is when we want to make a change - our brain will throw up resistance. It will fight to keep us safe in our current routine (for example, give us endless excuses for why it’s not worth the effort). Being prepared for this will support us to make successful changes.

Understand our personal definition of success.

Many of us end up feeling stuck because our priorities do not align with the things we need. Many of us make important career choices when we are young and don't really know ourselves. And as we get older and have more responsibilities, we continue to follow this bouncing ball and do the things that are expected of us - for example, move up the corporate ladder. This can lead us to appear successful on paper - but feel stuck and unfulfilled.

A key step in getting unstuck is to turn our focus inward to find our true personal definition of success. This will be a life that strikes the balance we need between meaning, purpose, and joy.

What do we need in our lives?

Focusing on our personal needs and desires can feel counterintuitive for many of us. However, this exercise is required if we are ready for more in our life. Once we understand these key elements, we can work on dialling them up, so life feels more satisfying and purposeful.

A good place to start is to think about what makes us feel proud, happy, and truly successful. Also, think about what feels meaningful, worthwhile, and purposeful. When we are feeling stuck, we may notice these things aren't very present in our lives today. However, our goal is to readdress this balance.

We can start making changes immediately.

Now we understand some reasons for feeling stuck - the good news is we can start making positive changes right away. Here are four steps we can take to start feeling unstuck today.

1. Add a bit of variety.

It is amazing how invigorating a change in routine can feel when we are stuck in a rut. This could be as small as travelling a different way to work, phoning a friend we haven't spoken to in a while, or trying a new coffee place. If we are feeling brave - we can go somewhere totally new, learn something new, or maybe go for an outdoor adventure. However, remember just to take action and do it. The more we think about it the more our brain will talk us out of it.

2. Practice some gratitude.

If you are struggling to take action, practicing gratitude is something we can do to give ourselves a mental and motivational boost. When we spend our time looking toward the future, we miss out on great things happening now. Take the time to think of three things you are grateful for. Better yet, share this exercise with friends and family. This will help us to appreciate the present moment and lift our mood.

3. Think about the things you truly need in your life.

We all have responsibilities and activities in our lives we can't get away from, but it is important to have a balance. To create a life we love, we want to dial up the things that will help us feel purposeful and joyful. This will help us build a life that feels personally successful.

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But what if we don’t know what we need in our life?

I totally understand this - because I've been there. If this is the case, we should consider - how we want to be known. If the people we care about were going to use three words to describe us - what would we want them to be? Thinking about this can help to uncover what is important to us. Once we understand this, we can identify activities that would make it a reality. Then, we can brainstorm how we can incorporate them more into our week.

4. Take small steps.

Working towards something in our lives helps us feel unstuck. But this doesn't mean we need big scary goals. Once we know what we want to change in our life - we can focus on little steps to take us in the right direction. What can we do today? What can we do this week? How can we create a new routine that moves us in a direction we love?

Disclaimer: Feeling stuck in life can be a symptom of mental health issues. The advice in this article should not be considered in place of medical advice. If you feel like you are struggling with your mental health - please reach out to a medical professional immediately.

Annie is passionate about supporting people to insert missing ingredients into their lives, such as meaning, purpose, and happiness (as easily and effectively as possible). If you are feeling stuck and are ready to move forward and create a life, you love - check out the  FREE Unstuck Seminar.

Feature Image: Supplied.

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