Excuse me. But I have a theory.
It’s about Instagram, the only corner of the Internet my mum is yet to – how do I put this? Ruin. She hasn’t found the app yet and I swear to God if anyone downloads it and makes her a profile, I will never forgive them.
Anywho, my theory is that Instagram brings out the very worst in people. Deep down, I believe we are all a little bit creepy, but
It also highlights our desperation to be liked, figuratively and literally. We're all thirsty AF and deep down none of us are even marginally cool.
There are a number of things I think we're doing on Instagram that we're too embarrassed to admit to. If you do not do any of these things well, um, neither do I , I was just joking.
Stalking yourself to see how you appear to outsiders.
This involves taking a deep breath, going onto your profile and attempting to view yourself objectively - as though you had no idea who you actually were.
That is the most horrifying sentence I've ever typed and I hate myself.
You scroll through your own pics and just gauge a... feel. For... yourself.
Mia Freedman, Monique Bowley and I confess to our most embarrassing Instagram offences on the latest episode of Mamamia Out Loud. Post continues below.
Do you appear... cool? Interesting? Do you actually look good in that photo? How's that ratio going? How about your aesthetic?
This practice usually ends in deleting three to five pictures and the devastating realisation that this is what your life has become.
2. Having someone (multiple people) you don't follow, but just 'check in with' a few times a week.
I call them my 'regulars' (kill me).
What's Anna up to? How about Kayla goddamn Itsines? She's not getting my follow because, well, ratio, but that doesn't mean I don't want to know what she had for dinner last night.
These are the people you explicitly stalk, and are usually E-grade celebrities or Insta famous. They're interesting because they believe they're interesting.