By Steph Auteri for Your Tango.
Dedicated to fetish, fantasy, and unbridled want, it would seem that orgies are environments open to boundless possibility. Indeed, when I dragged my husband to our very first sexy soiree, I prepared for our night out with the determination to be ready for anything.
I considered including my purple tickler and a wide-tipped riding crop, but balked at bringing such items onto my regular NJ Transit bus. I was well-stocked, though. God forbid I be unprepared for any possible instance of sexual pleasure.
There are some things, however, you can never be fully prepared for. After an evening with the debauched and insatiably desirous, I learned a thing or two about what NOT to do at a sex party. (Post continues after video.)
1. Do NOT count on your hostess to provide you with the same vajayjay-friendly lube you ordered from Good Vibrations.
While it’s not necessary to bring the entire contents of your naughty drawer, you should take along the basic accouterments of safe and comfortable sex. A variety pack of glow-in-the-dark condoms should more than cover the “safe” aspect, while your favorite lube should cover the “comfortable.”
(The average penis size, presented by Dr Ginny and Shelly Horton. Post continues after video.)
Some party venues provide guests with free condoms and tiny packets of lube at the door. Better to be safe than sorry, though, especially when a complimentary tube of kiwi strawberry Astroglide is barely sufficient to get you past second base. You may prefer to bring your own glycerin-free products anyway, particularly if your hoo-ha is extra-sensitive.
2. Don’t let your skinny jeans come between you and sex.
At my first party, I wore a snug pair of jeans. My husband couldn’t keep his hands off me and we eventually retreated to a dark corner for heavy petting and an attempt at nervous sex. Lord, did I regret wearing those jeans.
I didn’t have any problems locating his most erogenous of zones, my clit was a bit more elusive. Next time you’re suiting up for your local group grope, seriously consider the mini dress. (Post continues after gallery.)