Well, it’s been a few weeks since I had a baby and you’ll be relieved
to know I’m back in my size 6 white jeans. Yay, me. Also, I’m doing
triathlons to blitz those last few pesky grams of baby weight. Isn’t
Oh wait. It seems I’ve been watching too much E! News while
breast-feeding and am confusing myself with Nicole Kidman and Jennifer
Lopez. Silly, sleep-deprived me.
In actual fact, I’ve never owned a pair of size 6 white jeans except
maybe when I was, you know, six. Such a small item of clothing would
certainly be of no use to me now except to use as a burping cloth. And
a triathlon? That’s just funny.
Here’s the thing. Since giving birth, my body has not done much
bouncing back (although it’s been doing a fair bit of bouncing, if, by
bouncing, you mean jiggling). I have not blitzed my baby weight. And
apparently, this makes me different to every celebrity mother who has
ever drawn breath. That’s what the magazines shriek at me week after
week and I hate them for it.