When you’re in a relationship, it’s easy to get stuck in a routine and let your affection for one another slip.
It just, sorta, happens.
So it’s good to be reminded that there are lots of actions you can take that can keep the ~LoVe~ alive.
And now we know straight from the source how fellas most feel appreciated. Their secrets are out. Thank you, internet.
Men on Reddit were asked to reveal what makes them feel wanted by their partners.
The answers were unbearably adorable and, honestly, eye-opening.
You’ll realise that there are many things you can do automatically that makes somebody feel loved. The little things really do count.
So prepare to utter a lot of “awww”. The feels are coming.
It can be as simple as a look.
One reddit user says he feels wanted “when she looks at me and smiles like it’s our first date all over again.”
Another explained it in more detail: “It’s hard to explain, but my wife looks at me differently than she looks at anybody else. Anytime she looks at me she always looks full of energy, excitement, and full of passion. Like her eyes get slightly wider and I can always see the corner of her lips starting to smile slightly. I can just see her brighten up anytime she looks at me, even if we’ve been sitting next to each other in the same room for the last hour.”
The post got an emotional reaction: “Yeah, I remember when my wife looked at me like that. Reading that post stirred up some pretty heavy feelings.”
Someone else confessed he missed his girlfriend’s smile. “Before my girl started becoming more distant over the past few weeks and not really acknowledging me anymore as she just gets home late and goes straight to sleep and never telling me anything about her day anymore. She used to have this sort of half smirk or smile whenever we looked each other in the eyes and it always gave me the best feeling in the world, like I was home. That was back when I felt wanted. I hope everyday that it will go back to that, I miss that feeling so much.”
There are just 36 questions that will apparently make you fall in love. Have you tried them? (Post continues after audio.)
There was lots of appreciation for cuddles.
“The cuddling during the night, and the hugging during the day. She will always have her hand on my thigh when we are sleeping, which is what I think is the best.”
“Without fail she’ll roll over in the night and either try hold my hand or hug me.”
“When she comes up behind me and wraps her arms around my shoulders/chest.”
“For me I think it’s just when she’ll reach for my hand or kinda jumps into a hug (she’s 5′ 6″ and I’m 6′ 5″ so there’s a little bit of her jumping or me leaning.)”
“I’m single now but my ex, without fail, would always give me a great big bear hug when I got home and latch on to me for about 30 seconds and tell me she missed me. I miss that.”
The smallest of actions can make him feel important.
“Just simple attention, could be a text I did not start or a random kiss for no reason.”
“All the little things that add up like cooking dinner for me before I get home from work or just asking how my day was when I walk in the door. If she’s not there she will always call before bed and we talk about our days.”
“When she makes me a cup of tea or brushes her hand along my shoulders as she walks past. When she runs to the door to kiss me goodbye when my pager goes.”
“This was such a little thing. My lady is doing her best to keep me healthy. I’m an unrepentant carnivore. She knows I hate all the little red things in my salad, so she took the time to pick them all out. The fact that she cooks for me is awesome enough, but I teared up a little when I noticed that my salad didn’t have any awful red thingys. I’ve never felt so loved.”
They feel wanted when sleeping together. (No, not like that.)
“When she falls asleep on me. It could be if we’re cuddling while watching netflix and she falls asleep on my chest, or when I’m working on the couch in the living room and she’ll lay her head on my lap and take a nap. I don’t know exactly why but it really does make me feel wanted by her,” wrote one guy.
Another agreed: “Awww thissssss. My wife had some anxiety issues from her upbringing. There’s only two people she’s ever been able to fall asleep while lying against them. Her daddy when she was a little girl, and me. She used to ask before putting her head on my thigh when we’re watching TV. Now she just does it, and assumes it’s always available for her. It is, and it thrills me every time.”
Keep supporting all the terrible jokes.
“When she laughs at yet another one of my terrible jokes. My favorite one is ‘How do you make a cat woof? You set it on fire. Woof!’ She’s a lucky lady.”
Physical affection is a biggie.
“We’ll just be sitting on the couch watching something and she’ll take the time to squeeze my thigh or kiss my cheek and make one of those adorable little “mmm” noises. A single one of those moments does more for my self esteem then anything I have ever felt.”
“She likes touching me and clings to my arm. I love it.”
“I come home, and for whatever reason she’s had a hard day and I can see it in her face. She’s been missing me and waiting for me. The first thing she does is run up to me, and she tucks her head under my shirt and “hides” there, pressing her face into my chest/belly.”
“A kiss every day before I go to work. And if I forget, she says, ‘What? No kiss?’ It’s wonderful.”
And apparently, guys like booty grabs.
“Without fail, random butt grabs. It feels pretty good to know someone cares enough to mildly objectify me every once in a while.”
He likes to feel that he’s not just your boyfriend or husband, but your best friend.
“When she tells me something as soon as it happens, I love being not only her boyfriend, but also her friend she can trust.”
“Just the fact that she is so comfortable around me to share those emotional moments, as small as they are mean the world to me.”
“When I’m getting upset/emotional over something, and she just holds and listens to me.”
“One of the biggest things is when she comes to me for advice or guidance or leadership. I know that she trusts me and is placing faith in me.”
The I-miss-you gestures are noted.
“She’ll always call me on my way home saying how much she misses me and that although she wishes I could drive at 200mph to get to her quicker, she always says, ‘a late husband is better than a dead one’.”
“She leaves me notes every morning for when I wake up since we work opposite shifts.”
“When I was recovering and unable to pick her up her she took a 3 hour bus ride to see me. That dedication to see me shows just how much she loves me.”
Go shopping (for him).
“My gf bought some new sheets for our bed and she bought these special breathable sheets because she knows how hot I get at night. It’s small things like this that really let me know she’s thinking of me. I try to do the same for her but she’s way better at it.”
“Yesterday she bought a fan for our bedroom and put out on my side so I got the most of the breeze. Love that gal.”
Accepting the gross stuff is a sign of true love.
“I want a kiss.” “I have the world’s most rancid coffee-and-garlic breath.” “I don’t care.”
Make him feel like a sex god from time to time.
“When I walk into the room after a shower and she looks at me with hungry eyes and says I look sexy.”
“She will come into the bathroom while I am showering and stare at me saying, ‘just admiring the view’.”
Men like to feel needed.
“My girlfriend once told me that she felt safe around me. That was 2 years ago and I still feel like a superhero when I think about it.”
Not to mention, some guys wrote they like to be asked to open jars, retrieve objects from high shelves, carry heavy loads of shopping from the car, killing spiders.
We’re happy to oblige.
And there are the guys who enjoy feeling they have the voice of Morgan Freeman.
“She almost immediately starts nodding off and falling asleep if I read to her. My voice calms and soothes away all the worries and stress that keep her awake at times and makes her feel safe. The sound of my voice instantly makes her feel safe. Its like having a god damn super power.”
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The award-winning podcast Mamamia Out Loud is doing their first live show. There will be laughs, disagreements and you can meet the hosts afterwards! We’re also donating $5 of every ticket price to Share The Dignity so grab your friends and come along to share the love and laughs, get your tickets here.