This post was originally published on Role Reboot.
Last week I was in the emergency room for a rabies shot (don’t ask) and found myself listening to an awkward conversation between a nurse, who had just gotten engaged, and her co-worker:
Co-worker: “I’m mad that you didn’t invite me.”
Nurse: “To what? I just got engaged.”
Co-worker: “Oh, I thought you got married and didn’t invite me to the wedding.”
Nurse: “Um, no, we haven’t had the wedding.”
The uncomfortable conversation then continued with more wedding-related banter. The proposal that she knew was coming. In Italy (of course). How pretty the ring is. How her mom keeps calling about wedding plans. And the venue they’re going to see tonight.
It is with this oh-so-familiar scenario in mind that I humbly call for an end to marriage engagements. Hear me out…
What is the point of getting engaged anymore? You don’t need an engagement to send out wedding invitations, right? And most folks know that they’re going to get married soon (and have been dropping hints and arguing about it long before the “proposal”). Wedding venues can be booked without proof of engagement, and the deposit alone should be enough to demonstrate commitment.
Is it for the bachelor/bachelorette party? The engagement party? Or just the months of people congratulating you on your engagement before many more months of people congratulating you on your wedding? Is it for the validation? Or, worse, to simply brag?
OK, I get it—the Facebook ring photos are exciting (so much so that I jokingly announced on social media my own intent to get engaged for the Facebook likes). And for those of you who plan on making your wedding photo your profile pic for the next 10 years, I get the desire to stretch out the whole wedding thing. Even though I wasn’t one of those girls who grew up waiting for a man to surprise me, confess his undying love for me, and beg me to marry him, I understand. Everyone wants to feel special.