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There’s so much garbage out there when it comes to relationship advice. I think it’s because most people want the quick fix. There are, however no quick fixes – especially when it comes to relationships.
There’s a popular line of thinking out there that the way to a woman’s heart is to buy her things, “the more expensive the better.”
While it’s brilliant marketing by the jewellery companies, there’s one gift I’ve found that trumps any kind of material good every single time.
In fact, every time I give this gift to my wife she falls more and more in love with me. It works every time, no matter how many times I give her this same gift.
What’s this gift you ask? What’s the thing that I can give her every time that’s more precious than anything material?
Watch: Advice for dating in your forties. (Post continues after video.)
Presence. That’s right: the best gift you can give your partner is your unwavering, commanding presence.
But what is presence, really? It’s a word that’s often tossed around a lot these days, but what does it really mean?
Presence, for me, means being able to generate attention to something without anything else getting in the way and disrupting my ability to do so.
In other words, I’m focused on one thing and only one thing. My mind is quiet, without thoughts, every action is in service to the object of my attention. Nothing can distract me from what I am focused on.
There’s something specifically that happens to a woman when the man she loves is able to be fully present with her in the moment.
Now this might seem crazy for a lot of men out there – especially given what we are brought up to believe by the media and socialisation, that the way to her heart is through ‘things’ and that we need to constantly prove our love to them by buying them what we think they want.