dating

'In a year I was heartbroken twice and ghosted 4 times. Now I'm giving "slow dating" a chance.'

I think it’s safe to say that if you’ve ever experienced a city lockdown due to a pandemic, you would’ve found out some interesting things about yourself. 

A new found love for knitting? A talent for baking cafe-worthy banana bread? An obsession with TikTok? 

For me, it was an infatuation with dating apps

Watch: The horoscopes and virtual dating. Post continues below.


Video via Mamamia.

When we experienced our first lockdown in Sydney last year, I relied heavily on dating apps to pull me through. The silver lining was that EVERYONE was at home doing nothing so EVERYONE had the same idea. 

The conversations that sprouted from the apps were right up my alley. Light bantering about COVID mixed with quick replies seemed to be everyone’s new favourite way to pass time. 

I was having fulfilling conversations with minimum effort and was talking to at least three people at the same time.

Suddenly, we were free. 

Time to get to work.

I didn’t want to lose that feeling of being completely infatuated with so many people, so I began booking dates left, right and centre. Some weeks I would go on as many as four dates. 

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I was what you would call a 'fast dater', jumping from one man to the next, rudely disregarding all feelings and emotions (including my own). I would say that 90 per cent of the time, these relationships I had built through constant messaging in lockdown, ended after the first date. 

It was light; it was fun; it was expensive, but most of all it was pure chaos.

In a year, I had my heart broken twice; I was rejected seven times and ghosted four times.

Emotions were running high 24/7, and I didn’t care.

Going into this year’s lockdown I realised I wasn’t a huge fan of my previous dating habits. 

I had no regrets but was slightly disappointed in how I treated myself and others in certain situations. 

Fast dating is fun, entertaining, and full of surprises which makes for GREAT stories. But it’s also extremely lonely, tiring and stressful. 

Being in lockdown 2.0, I realised I couldn’t remember anything about any of the men I dated. I dated a guy for three months and all I remember about him is that he had a sister (I think). It was like my brain was a memory card which was wiped clean the minute I stopped dating someone and moved on to the next. 

After reliving these moments, sitting in my one-bedroom apartment, I’ve decided that I want to try 'slow dating'. 

And by slow dating I mean I’ll be dating ONE person at a time and will give them my full attention. 

So when I started chatting to a guy on a dating app during this lockdown, I told him about my plan to slow date. I explained I thought we should go on three dates minimum before either of us made any decisions on whether we want this to continue or not. 

He agreed.

Listen to The Undone, a show about navigating the "adult" world without a GPS, friendship, love, sex, personal politics, and... air fryers. Post continues below. 

The conversation we’ve been having over the past four months has been a slow burn but an extremely enjoyable one. For the first time in a long time, I’m both extremely nervous and excited to go on a first date. 

Although slow dating can result in a heavier toll if things don’t work out, I think being able to remember all the things about this person (including that he in fact has an older sister named Sarah) adds so much value to my dating experience and also my lifestyle choices. 

Little wins. 

So if you don’t hear from me again, just assume slow dating has landed me with the love of my life. And if you do hear from me again... let’s just collectively pretend that this never happened.

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Feature Image: Supplied.

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