If there’s a kind of trend single millennials throw their avocado-laden, empty hip-pockets behind, it’s a dating trend.
From breadcrumbing and negging to benching and ghosting, we aren’t very good at shrugging our shoulders when messed around while dating. Instead, we’re in constant pursuit of labels to aptly define our mistreatment.
He’s sending sporadic messages? He isn’t just unreliable, he’s a total breadcrumb. Her insults come a little too freely, and hit you in the crux of your insecurities? She’s a negger.
Of course, you could probably just substitute every so-called ‘trend’ with an overriding sense that some people are unequivocal arseholes, or you get a little more creative, finding categories for behaviour and using them to make sense of a relationship may have gone belly up.
And so comes the latest ‘trend’ the news cycle is breathing great amounts of oxygen into this week: Love bombing.
Listen: Breaking the cycle of bad relationships:
According psychiatrist and author Dale Archer, love bombing is “an attempt to influence another person with over-the-top displays of attention and affection”.
He writes, for Psychology Today:
“We’re not just talking about romantic gestures, like flowers and trips. Love bombing invariably includes lots of romantic conversation, long talks about ‘our future,’ and long periods of staring into each other’s eyes.
The common thread is a cycle that starts with intense courtship and idealisation over a very short period of time — days or weeks, not months. Idealisation is when partners see each other as ‘perfect,’ ‘meant to be,’ or ‘soul mates’.”
Archer says as intense as the relationship can get in a short space of time, before long, he or she will begin to be riddled with jealously and harsh words.