I have spent many years condemning you, cursing you and generally uttering my disgust at your sheer existence. However, for all the shooting off at the mouth I have been doing about how I have no emotional attachment to you, turns out I do.
Sure we have had some rough times. But we have also had some awesome experiences leaving us with some mind-blowing and wonderful memories.
I should have known you were going to be a challenge when I first found out you were ‘tilted’. Oh how many times have doctors, with that quizzical expression rummaged through you looking for Lord knows what and uttered those five words, “you have a tilted uterus”.
Of course it was almost always followed with, “but that’s not a problem”. I figured it just made us a little more unique, only 20 in every 100 women share our condition. I must confess though, the only time I experienced any real emotion around you being tilted was the elation I felt when I found out Suzi Quatro was also blessed with one. Kindred sisters and all that…
However, long before I found out you were tilted, our first issue was you were a ‘late bloomer’. It seemed like every other girl in high school was getting her periods, enjoying the right of passage into womanhood which it turns out, amounted to nothing more than the joy of blood loss every month or so for at least five days or so for the next 40 years or so. Ah yes, I love being a woman. Anyway, I digress. I must have been around 14 when you exploded onto the scene. Finally!
I had blossomed and joined the sisterhood. It all went well the first time (my mother had prepared me) but after that, unlike most uteri, you kept it interesting. No regularity for you. Oh know, you decided to just pop and release whenever the heck the mood took you.