'I forced my mum to pick between missing her grandchild's birth or my wedding.'

When you’re planning your wedding, you probably take a few things into account when you sit down to pick a date.

One of them is surely going to be the availability of your immediate family members to attend your wedding. And for it to not clash with events like, I don’t know, the birth of your sister’s child.

Yep, you’d think you’d want to rule out the whole month around that due date, right?

Well, no, actually.

One man faced with this problem decided to go right ahead and set his wedding for the same time as his sister’s due date. And forced his mother to choose whether to miss the birth of her grandchild (and, let’s be honest, the pretty painful and really very dangerous process that is childbirth) or her son’s wedding.

That is way harsh.

When his mother responded to this clash with the decision to attend the birth, not his wedding, her son turned to Reddit. He clearly hoped it would validate his belief his mother had made the wrong call.

“My mom [60F] is choosing my sister [30F] giving birth over my [33M] wedding,” he wrote under the pen name ‘sadsonwedding’.

Oh no, sadsonwedding. You are looking in the wrong place.

He wrote: “I get how being in the delivery room is important to her, but how is it more important than my wedding?! It’s not like I’ve had many weddings — this is my first.”

Wedding horror stories that will make sure you don’t want to have a wedding. Post continues after video.


One commenter pointed out, “You’re literally asking her to put a party over a potentially lethal life event where one of her children is giving birth.”

“If she could, your mother would go to both your wedding and the birth of her grandchild. But you put her in a position where she had to choose between one or the other. The birth seems like the obvious choice to me, to your mother, and to many people here. You could argue that circumstance put her in that position, but that doesn’t make much of a difference; she still has to choose, and the choice is obvious to her,” another said.

But sadsonwedding wasn’t having it. He revealed in the responses to his question that he had even been told by his mother that if the wedding was set for the same time as the birth she wouldn’t be able to come.

He thought his mum would choose him anyway. She didn’t.

He added that his sister had told their mum she didn’t mind if she chose the wedding over the birth. So he didn’t see why his mum still wasn’t coming.


But Reddit—which from time to time, is a wholly reasonable and delightful place to restore your faith in humanity—pointed out the whole thing was nobody’s fault but his. Because he created the clash in the first place.

The team on Mamamia OutLoud discuss their biggest wedding regrets. Post continues after audio.

“You made a decision that forced your mom to pick between your wedding and her grandchild’s birth. I guarantee your mum would rather have gone to both, but you made that impossible,” Gibonius wrote.

“You had reasons for making that decision, but in the end, you created this problem. She wouldn’t have had to choose if you had picked another day. Getting mad because she didn’t make the choice you assumed she’d make really isn’t fair.”

Gibonius, I have no idea what your name means, but I assume it’s Reddit for “wise one”.

So, in case we weren’t clear, Reddit is 100 percent team Mum in this battle for parental attention. The thread is full of some of the best real talk a person seeking answers in an online forum could hope for.

Here’s just one more truth bomb to finish up:

“You are an adult. You realise all choices have consequences. Your Mum not being at your wedding is a direct consequence of your decision. Sometimes, we just can’t have all the things we want. Best wishes for your upcoming wedding though!”

Have a great wedding, sadsonwedding!

Make sure you come up with a unique hashtag so your mou can follow along from the birthing suite.

This post was originally published on Mamamia’s US sister site Spring St