Okay, I’m going to lay it on the table. I am 27 and not married.
It doesn’t scare me or worry me because I am only 27, but every day when I read a new stupid study I start to panic a little. Because I am being told more and more – by science and research – that I am running out of time.
I am also constantly being told that I have to have babies, yesterday.
I know I'm not alone. To all you late twenties, thirties, forties and 'older' women, we are in this together, and we need to ask science to stop pumping our anxiety veins. Science, please let us ask you kindly to stop making us fret about finding Mr Right and popping out our very own Brady Bunch in the next hour.
A study recently said that if you want to have three kids, you need to start making babies when you're no older than 28. (We wrote about it here). That got me in quite a tizz.
Now I've found a study telling me if I don't get married in the next year or two (before I turn 32) then I am, in all likelihood, going to end up divorcing my future husband anyway.
The brand new study creating anxiety in unmarried people is from Nicholas H. Wolfinger. He is a psychologist from the Univeristy of Utah and has done research for the Institute for Family Studies about the best age to marry if you want to avoid divorce.
“My data analysis shows that prior to age 32 or so, each additional year of age at marriage reduces the odds of divorce by 11 percent...However, after that, the odds of divorce increase by 5 percent per year," he wrote.
Ok Mr Wolfinger, we get it. You have some fancy findings and numbers and percentages to throw our way. What I don't understand Mr Wolfinger is why these statistics are necessary in the first place.
Urgh, can't you just leave us be 'research'.
I don't have a time frame for when I want to be married, I just know I want it one day and I want kids too. But none of us need a time limit on it and we don't need science shoving a timeline down our throats.
The only thing that comes out of these research studies is panic and a lowering of self worth. Because women and men read them and think shit, I'm not normal.
Science, let me tell you something. While we all respect you and your intelligence, there are some statistics we just don't need to know. Because you're not going to change the course of our lives. It will happen when it happens.
How do you feel when you read these marriage statistics?