I always thought my family were normal, until I became an adult.
To be fair, they are normal (whatever ‘normal’ is, existential crisis, etc). But there are some things about my family that I didn’t realise were a bit weird until I moved out of home. Let me explain.
Every time we pulled up in the driveway when I was a kid, my Mum would say “home again, home again, jiggity jig”. Every time. Apparently, there are other parents who do so too. But try explaining that to a person who did not grow up with a jiggity-jigger. “It’s…just…what you say…when you get home?”
Also, we keep bags of grated cheese in the freezer. It lasts forever and always defrosts when it gets sprinkled on food (and usually you put it on hot food anyway). But when my friend opened my freezer for ice and questioned the frosty Coon, my mind was blown that it wasn't common (some of you do that too though, yeah?).
And it works in reverse. Sometimes, you go to a friend's house, and accidentally shatter their world when you ask, 'why are you eating your cereal out of a cup?'. Or, 'why did you just put a wet sponge in the microwave?'.
The WEIRDEST one I came across was this: When making a cup of tea, my friend thought it was normal to make two extra cups and put them in the fridge, so that when a cup of tea was next desired, it could just be microwaved. WTF? (Both 'What The F*ck' and 'Weird Tea Fetish').
On the flip side, these parents have been subject to weirdness at the hands of their children. Post continues after video.
Friends have shattered my normality a few times by telling me these things are NOT normal.
- Dad had a thing called 'Daddy Tax' at meal time, where me and my sister we had to give him ten percent of our meal. I just accepted it, and have since realised he is an evil food genius.
- When I have a mozzie bite, I use my fingernail to dent a cross into it, just like I was taught. (Surely everyone... anyone...?)
- Milo sandwiches.
- My Grandpa puts cream on his pasties. Because cream, pastry, vegetable and mystery meat is a tasty combination.
- Wishing on potato chips that were folded in half (and therefore magical) by smashing them on our foreheads.
- My Mum puts chunks of carrots in her delicious bolognese. Someone pointed out to me that's not very Italian, but whatever, it's tasty.
- My sister and I would put chocolate topping or Milo on our icecream, and then squish it down and mix it with a spoon until it was runny like a thickshake. It was practically a chore, I didn't realise it was acceptable to eat icecream in scoop form.
- Pressing our thumbs to the centre of our forehead when we say 'pardon' after a burp. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY DAMMIT
I've asked around the office, and was hit with a barrage of weird family habits. Some were comforting, because my family did the same thing. Others... let's just say I'll be looking differently at my colleagues from now on.
- Eating cereal with yoghurt and juice instead of milk.
- Tomato sauce on 2 Minute Noodles.
- Keeping chocolate in the freezer.
- Getting in to the shower, turning the tap on, and shivering under the cold water until it gets warm.
- "My family calls leftovers 'Scraps' as in 'we're having scraps for dinner'. Boyfriend always thinks we're going to end up eating chicken food."
- Raw, dried pasta as a snack.
- "Vegemite, Cheese and Lettuce sandwiches are the bomb."
- "I've been told ketchup in bacon or sausage sandwiches is weird - for us it's normal."
- "We call silver coins "poo change"."
- "We constantly refer to things as the word we called them when we were learning to speak eg. nail polish= nolly-posh. I got into a major fight in prep about the fact it was NOT called nail-polish."
- Eating banana wrapped in a piece of bread.
- Putting toothpaste straight in the mouth instead of on the toothbrush.
- "The easter bunny still comes for my sister and I. We are aged 29 and 24."
- "Undies in Santa stockings. Every year. Still."
Hopefully, some of these were reassuring. No doubt, some of them were shocking (turn the tap on BEFORE getting into the shower, stoopid). But surely, you've got some of your own.
Right? Right, guys? ....guys??
Does your family do any of these crazy things?