"Dear couples: please stop demanding so much of your wedding guests."

Last week, a royal wedding rumour got the whole world talking.

According to… well, someone, Pippa Middleton has kindly asked the guests of her upcoming wedding to bring a second outfit to wear to the reception. Because heaven forbid someone should wear one garment for an entire day.

The whispers are yet to be confirmed but already people are freaking out, wondering if this will spark a trend.

Pippa is rumoured to have a two-outfit rule for guests. (Getty)

Whether or not this specific request takes off, one thing is for sure: couples are starting to ask too much of their wedding guests.

Almost every week, it seems, a story emerges from somewhere in the world about a bride and/or groom who takes things a step too far.

There was the couple who emailed a guest after their nuptials to inform her the AUD$176 cheque she'd gifted them "didn’t seem to match the warmth of [her] good wishes". (In other words, her present wasn't good enough).

There have also been plenty of demanding brides pressuring their bridesmaids to lose weight and not cut their hair and even have cosmetic procedures on their ears to ensure they can wear a certain type of chandelier earring.

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Of course these are all extreme examples, and being part of the bridal party does carry a greater level of involvement, but high expectations are trickling down here into Real Life.


I've reached the inevitable stage in my life where everyone is getting married. Friends, relatives, my partner's friends, my partner's relatives — it's been a busy few years.

I genuinely love weddings, so I'm not complaining about this. But my one gripe is being asked to do anything more than show up in a presentable outfit, celebrate the couple, and be a respectful yet fun guest (with a gift I feel comfortable giving).

In the past 12 months alone, I've attended two weddings with dress codes — 'Beach' and 'Black Tie' — that forced me to buy outfits I wouldn't usually, and that I haven't worn since.

Being a wedding guest is costly. Please don't make it more so. Image via iStock.

A couple of friends have attended weddings where they had to wear white — in one case, purely for the bride's brightly-coloured dress to stand out from the crowd.

Others have been asked to chip in to the cost of the wedding or to bring items or offer services on the day to help the festivities run.

I'm sure there are plenty of other examples out there. And this is just guests; spare a thought for the bridesmaids and groomsmen forking out for bootcamp/dance lessons/God knows what else.

There's an important point I need to make: it's an honour to be invited to someone's wedding. Nobody's denying that.

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However, couples need to remember that it's also an honour to have those people turn up, often at great expense — outfits, travel, accommodation, a babysitter, it all adds up. And that doesn't even include the gift.

If someone has spent the time and money to turn up at your chosen venue and celebrate your love, isn't that enough? Is it really necessary to police what gift they buy for you, or what they wear? (It's a wedding; noone's going to turn up in thongs and a pair of paint-splattered jeans.)


Yes, it's the one day in your life that's all about you, and it's only natural to have a vision of how you want it to turn out. But please, please — for the sake of our wallets and our goodwill towards you — cool it with the demands.

Has a bride and/or groom ever made an outrageous request of you?