fashion

Am I the only person left in the world wearing a G-string?

My first clue that something was wrong was when Mamamia creative director Mia Freedman posted a Snapchat holding up a G-String with a comment that went something like this: “Bahahahaha, remember when we all wore G-Strings?”

Wait what?

“I AM still wearing G-strings,” I thought.

Not all the time, but definitely, absolutely some of the time. I wear them to the gym mostly, because I don’t want a double bum when I am wearing tights. And I wear them when I am wearing skinny jeans for the same reason.

LISTEN: Are g-strings making a comeback? Holly Wainwright, Mia Freedman and Jessie Stephens discuss on Mamamia Out Loud. 

Determined to find out more, I raised the subject in our news conference. The response, from a room full of smart women, was overwhelming. Shock. Horror. Faces twisted in disgust.

My heart sank. Somewhere along the way it seems I missed the memo. G-strings are out!  G-Strings are uncomfortable. G-Strings are tacky. Uncool. And no, not retro uncool. In other words they are tres 90s.

How did that happen? How did I lose my undies game and become a laughing stock among my colleagues?

Sure, I knew about boy leg undies. I wear them all the time. I know about those bamboo lacy ones that cover half your bum and don’t leave a panty line. I also know you should steer clear of all synthetic undies because potentially they could make your vagina fall out.

But I still thought the G-String was a thing; that it had its place in the underwear Hall of Fame. I even thought other people were still wearing them.

What ever happened to the humble G-string?Image via iStock.
ADVERTISEMENT

I thought they were still so standard, so normal, so everyday,that I recommended one to my teenage daughter. To stop the double bum.

The look on her face as she practically ran back to the boy leg undies section should have made me realise. I’d lost my undies game.

Over the last few days I had many moments of reflection as I've stared, disconsolate, at my undie collection.

And then it dawned on me. It wasn't me who was missing out. It was the rest of the world. Somewhere along the way people had forgotten the ancient art of slipping on a G.

And so I thought "no I won't be undie shamed!" Those colleagues of mine were clearly just Gee-lous. They hated the fact I had such a smooth undie line. I vowed to fight the good fight for the G-string. To hold G-strong.

One day I know others will join me. When spaghetti straps, Drew Barrymore, floral skater dresses and doc martins come back into fashion I will be ready. Ahead of the curve. First time ever.

G-whizz.

Tags: fashion , style , women
00:00 / ???