"13 ways I was a crap mum today."

Today has been one of those days.

You know those days. 

The type when you somehow just manage to scrape though by the skin of your six-year old’s unbrushed teeth.

(But muuuummm I DID brush them I promise. Yeah good let’s go with that. )

The type when you don’t have enough minutes to get anything done but the ones that tick by while your toddler is throwing a tantrum seem to be endless.

Those days.

The days you know deep down that you’ve been a crap mum. The days you know deep down you took the easy way out, you gave in with the hopes of just a little peace and quiet, you turned a blind eye when you should have paid more attention you let rules be broken because you just wanted a break, just a tiny weeny little break, just A. FREAKING. BREAK.


"No one is being harmed in the making of my children’s childhood." Image via iStock.

Sometime it's the only way to get through and in the meantime, while no one is being harmed in the making of these children’s childhood, I am just going to ride out the crap days – and try to do better tomorrow.


Here are 13 ways I was a crap mums today:

1.  I actively encouraged screen time.

It's hard enough working from home but when a child is home from daycare it's practically impossible. You have to employ whatever means you can to get through. I am usually fairly strict about restricting screen-time. So I was shocked to actually hear these words come out of my mouth. "Hey you guys have you seen this new app? I hear it's really awesome!"


Just download it and zone out. 

2. I spent more time looking at my phone when we went to the park than I did looking at my kids.

When I finally tore them away from their screens and we made it to the park it was my screen time. On the plus side, I have perfected the art of pushing a swing with one hand while browsing Facebook with the other.

3. I told my kids the brownies were home made.

Do they care? They probably tasted better too.

"They didn't even notice." Image via iStock.
4. I threw a towel over the wet patch in my kid’s bed and let him go back to sleep.

It was a clean towel.. doesn't that help?

5. I pretended to ignore the fact they had broken into the biscuit tin before breakfast because I was too tired to care.

Look, judge me if you want but in my defence, I can honestly say I only half heard the sounds of sneaky feet in the kitchen. By the time I saw the trail of crumbs and the open biscuit tin it was too late.

They did have a banana after.

6. I made a silent wish that my children would lose their voices, just for a day.

Or a few hours. I would take what I can get....

"Just BE QUIET." Image via iStock.
7. My daughter wanted medicine because she was “sick” so I gave her cordial on a spoon and pretended it would cure her.

I know, I know I shouldn't be actively encouraging my kids to take medicine. I know I have probably put in the place the first steps of a lifetime of addiction. I know that this could well be the slippery slope to who-knows-what. But there are times I would do absolutely anything to avoid a tantrum and this was one of them.

8. I gave my son stale crackers that had been sitting in the bottom of my hand bag when he wouldn't stop complaining he was hungry.

They only went out of date last year.

What's in a "mum bag". Does this surprise you or is yours the same? Post continues after video...

9.  I told my kids the security camera in Woolworths was Santa watching them.

Isn't it?

10. My kids had breakfast for dinner as a "treat".

It's all about the way you sell these things I have found. Vegemite toast, Weetbix and yogurt for all.

Tomorrow I will get around to cooking.

"You really like it, you know." Image via iStock.
11. I tied back my daughter’s hair and put a hat on her before she went off to a holiday day camp because I didn’t have time to comb out her nits.

She was going to be outside. She only had a few eggs. She won't take her hat off for fear she will be struck by lightening.

Yeah look - bad me.

I am really really sorry I deserve all the lice our household gets.

12. I threw away my son’s artwork and pretended I posted it to Grandma.

She's really going to love it.

"She's gonna love it." Image via iStock.
13. I walked straight past a large pile of laundry to a glass of wine.

As I said it was one of those days.

Have you ever done any of these things?

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