Trigger Warning: This post deals with issues of domestic violence and may be triggering for survivors of abuse.
Dear perpetrator of violence against women,
I don’t know you intimately – and I hope I never will. I hope I’ve never seen you with my friends, acquaintances or family, but – statistically speaking – I probably have.
I have almost certainly walked past you on the street.
Because if one-third of women experience domestic or sexual violence in their lifetime, that means someone – a number of someones – are committing that crime.
I know what you’re about to say.
It was only that one time. Or you only accidentally gave her a black eye. Or you didn’t mean to push her so hard.
Or it was only the alcohol. Or it was because she made you so mad. Or it was because you love her so much.
Or it was only because she was flirting with Alex from her work. Or calling her mother, and talking about you, and she knows you hate that. Or only because she wouldn’t shut up, just f*cking shut up.
I know why you think those domestic violence ads don’t apply to you. You have plenty of excuses. Those campaigns are aimed at stopping monsters – and you’re not a monster. You’re just a person who has made some mistakes.
Everybody makes mistakes, right? Sorry. You’re wrong.
It doesn’t matter if it was only once, or wasn’t that hard, or you didn’t mean to leave a mark. It doesn’t matter if you were drunk – that does not absolve you of guilt. It doesn’t matter if she was mocking you, or flirting with other men or women, or talking to her friends and family when you wanted her to pay attention to you instead.