fashion

Move over, vagina dresses. Vagina shoulders are here to snatch your crown.

Do you want to know the very first thought I had upon opening my eyes this morning?

It was, ‘My God, I’m SO OVER vagina dresses. They’ve really been overdone and the trend really needs to up its game.’

(Okay, I lied. It was my second thought, right after, ‘Where the hell is a cup of coffee when I need one?’)

Luckily for me, on my morning commute, I was greeted with a sight that can only be described as both horrifying and intriguing.

No, it wasn’t a Facebook memory from four years ago.

It was THIS:

vagina shoulders dress 1
HI THERE. Image via The Iconic.

A top.

With shoulder decorations that resemble what I can only describe as LABIA MINORAS.

It seems my wish has become the fashion world's command, and we've officially graduated from vagina dress to vagina shoulders.

What a time to be alive!

This, my friends, is Australian fashion label Asilio's Last Call Top and it's available on The Iconic for the low, low (as in, DOWN LOW) price of just $239.95.

vagina shoulders dress 2
"Don't me or my labia-like frills...." Image via The Iconic.
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The top is described on the site as "equal parts saccharine and sultry", two words which I'm fairly confident have never been used to describe the inner lips of a woman's anatomy.

(In case you're wondering, if I wanted to resemble a 'sweet and sexy' part of my female anatomy, I most definitely would dress as a giant clitoris. Just saying.)

The description also says the "architectural" light pink frills "sculpt and frame the shoulders to perfection", which is honestly the most safe-for-work description of a vagina I have ever heard in my entire life.

Oh, and it's dry clean only, so there's that.

vagina shoulders dress 3
The top is described as "equal parts saccharine and sultry". Sure. Image via The Iconic.

Of course, this is not the first time we've noticed the 'vagina dress' trend .

There was THIS peachy-toned beauty available online late last year.

Sunrise host Edwina Bartholomew was even accused of wearing a vagina-embellished dress to this year's Oscars ceremony.

On the plus side, the influx of 'vagina-themed' fashion may go a long way in helping those who, you know, aren't the proud owners of a vagina actually understand the intricacies of the female anatomy.

And who am I to judge if someone wants to step out of their house with their vag on their sleeve?

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