If you haven’t heard, there’s a former reality TV star (among, many other things) is running the United States. And with that, our Facebook and Twitter feeds get a whole lot more lively. Unfollowing those overly-opinionated trolls, however, is really empowering.
Imagine, a Facebook feed without the guy who gets into vitriolic fights with absolutely anyone who will engage. Social media bliss. You don’t have to unfriend them, you can hide their posts from Facebook, or “mute” them on Twitter so they’re not offended by the fact that you’ve cut ties.
As well as your ex, there are a whole bunch of other people to hide from your timelines to make your scrolling experience much nicer.
Folks, it’s time to unfollow:
1. The Right-Wing Ranter: This person tries to convince you that guns don’t kill people, people kill people. They want to Make America Great Again and they don’t give a shit who they offend in the process. Goodbye.
2. The Left-Wing Ranter: They think they’re the only other person in the world who supported Bernie Sanders. Yes, he’s inspirational. Yes, he’s got some great ideas. But do we really need all that Bernie, all the time?
3. The Parent Obsessed With Their Child: Child walks. Child talks. Child goes to school. Child does something mildly fascinating. Child does yoga. Child wins a participation medal. Give it a rest, please.
4. The Person Who Always Comments On The Weather: “OMG IT’S SO HOT OUTSIDE”…we know, we have skin too.
5. The Long-Paragraph Status Updater: “So guys, I’ve been wanting to share this news for a while now. It’s been such a long time coming and I honestly never thought I’d see the day when I would actually be able to tell you all this. So, here goes: After two years of submitting job applications, hundreds of phone interviews, and countless rejection letters, I finally got a job at Google. I honestly cannot describe how I’m feeling right now because it’s just beyond belief. Thank you so much to all of the people who supported me along the way, you’ve been such a godsend.” (Proceeds to tag half of their Facebook friends, and then somehow gets 200 likes). How do you feel after reading that? Annoyed? Yes? Hide.
Listen to us discuss the thing we ALL do on Instagram but are too afraid to admit. (Post continues after audio.)
6. The Complainer/Negative Nancy: “Why is it that every time I like a guy, he never likes me back? Guess I’m just going to be single forever.” Please stop, you’re making us depressed.
7. The Ex: Oh, hello there! Thank you for popping up in my News Feed the second I got over you. What’s this? A new girlfriend? Think I’ll spend the next two hours trying to figure out if she’s prettier than me. DELETE.
8. The Oversharer: Specifically, PDA-lovers. We get it. You like each other. You’ve smelled each other’s farts. We don’t need to know about it.
9. The Misogynist/Homophobe: Anyone who starts their sentence with, “Why is it that whenever women/gay people…” BOY, BYE.
10. The “I’m Not Racist But…” See above.
11. The Person Who Falls For Obvious Hoaxes Like Free Flights: Haven’t you learned yet? Also, they might try to trick you and then you’ll fall for the hoax too. Be gone.
Do yourself a favor and unfollow these people who are polluting your feeds. Your scrolling experience will be delightful.