So you leave your house in the morning encircled by sunlight and warmth and happiness. Considering it’s the middle of January, all feels well in the world. You chirp in unison with the birds as you make your way to the city-bound tram, kicking your Boxing Day Sale sandals as you go, liking your chances of heading to the beach after work, or going for a walk on your lunch break.
Then, at approximately 1.01pm, the skies chuck a tantie and decide to wreak almighty havoc on you and everything you love like a two-year-old.
As the rain pours outside your office window, you look down at your pretty new sandals and dress and feel the weight of injustice wash over you. With the tiniest shred of hope, you check the contents of your bag. Sh*t. It’s happened. Again.
While half your office lets out an exasperated “NOOOOOOO”, the other half is suspiciously silent. There’s no need to panic for them, it seems. They are all more than prepared.
Which brings me to my point.
Our entire personalities are defined by our umbrellas, or lack thereof. Actually, who you really are becomes clear the moment rain hits the pavement.
Personality 1: The kook
The kook one has never - and will never - own an umbrella. The thought doesn't even cross their mind. They live waaaay too fast and loose for that, baby. This person got their driving licence about a decade after all their high school friends, deferred from uni too many times to count, and refuses to put the toothpaste cap back on the toothpaste bottle. Their nails and iPhone screen are perennially cracked. Life is simply too short to care.
They walk through the rain with pride and make not having an umbrella look... cool. Wet hair somehow also looks good on them and that's totally annoying to personalities 2, 3 and 4.
Personality 2: The hot mess
This person hates themselves for constantly forgetting their umbrella, and also happens to be wearing the most inappropriate wet-weather outfit in the history of mankind. Where is that stupid umbrella, anyway? Now that they think of it, they've bought about 11 umbrellas in the last year. All of them are missing. Probably under the floordrobe at home. This hot mess will NOT WALK HOME IN THE RAIN BECAUSE WHAT ABOUT MY HAIR, so to solve this dilemma, Personality 2 will run into the nearest convenience store and purchase the first umbrella they see.