dating

A man thinks he can tell a 'wrong' woman by the shape of her nails and... sir.

A Californian man created a guide for men on how to avoid heartbreak based on a woman’s nails and… what the actual heck, Rocky?

Marwan Alteir, a.k.a Rocky, is the ‘go-to’ for his friends when it comes to dating and relationship advice and he’s so committed he wanted to share his ‘expertise’ with the world.

So, Rocky developed a six-page document called Nails At First Sight which offers uh, very thorough but not-at-all scientific, analysis of manicures to help men navigate the dating world.

“I had so many bros always ask me, ‘Rocky, how do you know the signs? How did you know she was going to break my heart? How did you know she was going to rob me from my dignity? How did you know every single time?'” the apparent love expert says in a video on Twitter.

“After countless hours of research and asking bros around the world, I’ve come up with a full proof survival guide.”

His book breaks down everything to do with a woman’s nails – starting with colour – and it’s… interesting.

nails at first sight survival guidenails at first sight survival guide

Nudes are safe colours, so men can "sleep with two eyes closed". Black, white and french tips are "cautious colours" that can go either way, and anything on the rainbow is... dangerous. Real dangerous, apparently.

"Get health insurance if you're going to be partying or hanging out with this. Get health insurance," he urges.

"Stay away from yellow most importantly. If she has the courage to get yellow nails, she has the courage to chop off your balls."

Then we move on to nail shape, where Rocky advises men stay away from women with sharp nails (which he has called 'mountain peak', 'stiletto' and 'arrowhead', showing off his has real creative flair).

nails at first sight survival guide
"Almond"
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"They're not sharp for no reason, they are f*cking weapons. Weapons of mass destruction. They are meant to hurt you," he shouts. Rocky clearly has a lot of passion.

The final focus is size - because size does matter - with ratings of health, strength, stamina, dexterity and weapon , turning women into the Pokemon cards they always hoped to be.

Helpfully, in case looking at a woman's hands isn't enough, Rocky also points out the signs men need to keep an eye out for related to nail size.

Signs of those with regular nails include: Pumpkin spiced lattes, face masks, Lululemon and brunch on Sundays (...Oh. Now this writer feels personally attacked).

nails at first sight survival guide
Is this a personal attack, Rocky?

Medium nails have increased stats. Signs include a very, very messy car.

nails at first sight survival guide
Why do you have to bring up the state of our car though.
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Then finally - we have as Rocky describes 'the boss' - long nails. The stats are heavily upgraded with a weapon grading of 100.

Signs you might see? These women only drinks tequila and Hennessy, are twerk masters and "don't need no man".

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

BOSS MODE.

Rocky's video has been viewed more than 4.6million times with many people (mostly women) confirming his findings.

He told Buzzfeed his research involved speaking to 30 men about their experiences with woman, so maybe it is scientific after all. Maybe.

Many also shared photos of their long, sharp, brightly coloured and occasionally yellow nails (RUN MEN, RUN) , embracing their new 'classification'.

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Not everyone is stoked about Rocky's findings though, with one woman DM'ing him with a very valid complaint.

"I had a girl DM me that she hates me because I cracked the code and let out the secrets," he told Buzzfeed. "She said she was going find where I live and burn the book."

After what we've just discovered, we can only presume she has long, yellow nails and they look fierce.

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MMSurvey

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