Hungriness has so many levels.
I’m talking about more than ACTUAL hungriness. Actual Hunger is still there; the drum roll that happens in your belly as your body waits with excited anticipation for a treat to drop down from above. (Apparently, with our food-focused society, there is a common fear of being hungry which leads us to snack all the time and eat more meals than we should. Whatever. Pass me the biscuit tin, please.)
And of course, there is EMOTIONAL hungriness. The kind when you’re sad, so you eat a whole pizza and a tub of ice-cream. Or you’re happy, so you eat a whole pizza and a tub of ice-cream. Or you’re angry, so you yell at someone. And then eat a whole pizza and a tub of ice-cream.
But I’m talking about the more complicated hungers. The hungers that make The Hunger Games look simply snack-ish. The hungers that are so layered and complex, they are practically Inception in your insides.
The 12 Types Of Hunger.
1. Watching-TV Hungry.
Does the remote even work if your fingers aren’t covered in BBQ Shapes?
2. Specific Hungry (or, in my case, Nutella Donut Hungry).
A craving might have popped in to your head. Don’t question how. Don’t question why. Just accept that the urge is never going to be satisfied if you don’t have the salted caramel popcorn thickshake you’re dreaming of. A girl I knew was once hungry for a chicken kiev (you know? The crumbed chicken fillet that oozes garlic butter? Drooooool…) and she went to four supermarkets and five restaurants until she found one. Because SHE KNOWS.
3. 3pm Hungry.
You’re sitting at your desk, getting a bit restless. You’ve had enough coffees for the day. You’ve eaten a decent lunch. But now, you can’t stop thinking about the biscuits in the office kitchen. Or stealing a piece of the leftover cake from some colleague’s birthday. My advice? Just do it and blame the intern.
Hanger is a real thing, people. It’s when you’re so hungry, you don’t have the capacity to deal with other people’s bullshit, so you’re a bit snappy. Be a better person. Feed yo’self.
Sometimes, usually when I’ve waited all morning until a fancy brunch date, I’m so fungry (not a typo, you can probably guess the two words that made up that term…) that by the time my meal comes I’ve surpassed the state of hunger and I’m just feeling nauseous and dizzy. Until the first mouthful of food, and then survival kicks in and I inhale the whole plate at once, cutlery and all.