Something really emotionally traumatic happened to me last night. I’m still recovering. I’m getting really upset even trying to write these words down right now.
Somebody posted a major Game of Thrones spoiler on Facebook. Like, REALLY FREAKING MAJOR.
And, like every TV fan‘s worse nightmare, I saw it before I watched the show, and it ruined my entire life.
(Before we go any further – because I’m a good person, I will tell you right now that this post contains spoilers about last night’s Game of Thrones episode. So if you haven’t watched, I’m thoughtfully telling you right now to click away from this post.)
I’m even going to scroll down to make sure you don’t see anything.
Okay. That’s enough. There will be spoilers from this point on.
I got home from work, made dinner, had a shower, then settled down on the couch to watch the latest episode of Game of Thrones. I recorded it, so I was watching it after it had been broadcast on TV, but only by a few hours.
But then, just before I switched it on, I glanced down at my Facebook news feed, only to be faced with this:
WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. FUCK.
If you just winced, gasped or shook your head in disbelief, you’ll understand the gravity of what happened to me last night. I was so upset when I saw that Facebook post, I had actual tears in my eyes.
Because of this thoughtless TV-spoiling knob cloud, I found out that King Joffrey had died before I got to watch and experience the shocking and unexpected scene in which KING JOFFREY DIED.
When you are emotionally invested in a TV show, seeing a spoiler like that actually leaves you traumatised. I thought everybody knew this. I thought everybody knew the rules.
Apparently fucking not.
This isn’t the 90’s people – we don’t watch TV the way that we used to. People have smart TVs, people record, people download (legally and illegally but that’s a whole other post), people live in different countries and different time zones… It’s ridiculous to assume that everybody finished watching the latest episode of something at exactly the same time.
But I guess some people (i.e. Facebook friend that I WANT TO PUNCH IN THE FACE) don’t understand this, so I would like to provide some helpful pointers.
Here is an etiquette guide for TV Spoilers in the Modern Age.