TV land is a weird place where strange things happen.
Like people never really die.
They just disappear or die in such mysterious circumstances that they can turn back up later and claim to have been in coma/have dreamt the whole thing/have faked their own death.
I like TV land very much.
Here are 6 of the most ridiculous “I’m dead… no wait, I’m not” storylines from TV:
Alison DiLaurentis, Pretty Little Liars
The whole premise of Pretty Little Liars is that teen mean girl Alison DiLaurentis is missing, presumed dead.
Then her body is found and, you know, tested for DNA and everyone is sure it is her. There’s a memorial service, there’s an investigation into her death, there’s a weird hooded person stalking a bunch of her friends.
Then after about 4385094509 twists and turns, Alison turns back up – alive and well – and certainly not dead.
The Binge discusses the real people (and yes, the real creek!) behind our favourite 90s teen drama. Post continues.
Bart Bass, Gossip Girl
At the end of season two of Gossip Girl, Bart Bass dies in a car accident. It’s quite central to the plot line because he leaves Lily an important voicemail moments before the crash, and leaves his business, Bass Industries, to Chuck.
Do characters in TV shows and movies disproportionately die in car accidents? Yes. But by Gossip Girl standards, Bart’s death was semi-believable.
That’s until he’s not actually dead.
In season FIVE (legit two full seasons have passed), Blair walks into a room and sees Bart. Chuck investigates and it turns out that, yes, his father is still very much alive.
Bart explains that he had to fake his own death to stop something to do with oil trading bla bla bla Sudan bla bla bla killing his entire family bla bla bla. You see, when he went to hospital after the crash, he simply paid the doctor to pronounce him dead.
There are SO many problems with this plot line, including: what are the chances that you’re planning on faking your own death, and then you’re in a completely random and horrible car crash? Can you really bribe doctors to pronounce you dead? Can you live for a number of years, apparently being dead? How about money? You gave it all to Chuck? You have no where to live?
But never mind all that – a very competent (yet presumably not even 21-year-old) Chuck sorts everything out for his father with the people who were apparently going to kill his family.
Harold Bishop, Neighbours
Oh Hazza, this is a weird one.
In Neighbours’ 745744th season Harold and Madge decided to go for a walk near the coast.
Of course, Harold mysteriously disappeared during that walk, because Neighbours.
Five years later, Helen Daniels found him working in a Salvation Army store and calling himself Ted.
And we all just pretended that whole ‘mysteriously disappears while walking near the coast’ thing never happened.
Jon Snow, Game of Thrones
In the season 5 finale Jon Snow dies.
Lemme break it down for you.
Jon is betrayed by the Night Watchmen, who he is the newly appointed leader of. He’s beaten up by his peers and then stabbed or shot with an arrow and falls down dead in the snow. The final image we see is of his eyes wide open, bleeding into the snow.
At the start of the next season he is brought back to life by the Red Witch. It’s a fairly stock-standard resurrection spell and takes about 2 seconds.
Dee Bliss, Neighbours
Well, this was equal parts heartbreaking and… ridiculous.
Just after they tied the knot, Toadfish accidentally drove his wife, Dee Bliss, off a cliff.
He survived and she mysteriously disappeared so she could pop back up in series a good 15 years later… but not really because it wasn’t her it was an impostor.
It was all very tragic, but also, since when do newlyweds drive themselves home from their weddings?
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Buffy Summers, Buffy the Vampire Slayer
In the season five finale, Buffy plunged to her death in an attempt to keep a portal to hell from opening… like you do.
Her friends held a memorial, it was very sad and the world was in danger of being taken over by vampires and the like.
But then in the season six premiere, Buffy’s mate Willow brought her back to life with magic… because TV pls.
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