I have a confession to make – I cheated on my partner. It was only once and it was with Jon Hamm.
That’s right, smack bang in the middle of our Mad Men binge watching relationship, I went rogue and (please forgive me Father, for I have sinned) WATCHED THE NEXT EPISODE WITHOUT HIM!!!
I simply couldn’t control my urges, I was overwhelmed by my need for just .. .one … more …
The conundrum I now face is this: Do I tell him, come clean and then deal with his disappointment and disgust? OR do I remain silent and simply suffer through the next episode again without him ever being any the wiser? I think I'm going to go with the latter. What he doesn't know can't hurt him right?
There are unwritten rules that need to be agreed on before you start your binge-viewing union. Such as:
1. Don't go off script and start watching ahead of your partner.
Don't go rogue. If you say you're in it together, if you enjoy the plot twists and actually viewing this as a partnership, don't ruin it by cheating on them. It'll just make you feel dirty and ashamed. Believe me on this.
2. Suffer in Silence
If you do go behind your partner's back, you must suffer in silence when you do get to sit down together. That means you will offer all of the right responses, even though you exhausted them first time round and they now feel a bit forced. If they figure out you're not interested or have not paying attention, they'll know, the jig will be up and all the fun will be gone.
3. Agree on a curfew
Binge watching isn't called 'bingeing' for nothing. If you don't set a curfew you can both agree on, you'll find yourself on the couch at 1am, covered in chips, eye red and staring but still unable to pass up just one...more...episode.
Generally I have found midnight is an acceptable curfew. We both have to get up early for work the next day and if we want to keep those jobs, we know we need to stick to this.
4. Don't, I repeat DON'T go near IMDB
For the uninitiated, IMDB is a website that lists every TV series, movie and actor EVER. Which is a great help when you're trying to place the face of an actor or discover more about a show. Except it's not so helpful when you notice that, say, one of your favourite actors doesn't appear in the 4th series.
This will in turn, destroy your love for the show because you know that he or she is somehow written out of it.
Just don't go there until you're finished.
So if you start watching a series together and you binge on seven episodes in one sitting, you need to commit to doing more of that in the very near future. If you're never available, don't be surprised if your partner starts to develop a wandering eye for Christina Hendricks.
You've been warned.