One woman reveals what she really thinks about being a stay-at-home mum.

I’m just going to come right out and say it – being a stay-at-home mum isn’t for me.

I could cut it a million different ways to make it more palatable, but the truth is I simply don’t enjoy it.

I love my son with all of my being but I am just not cut out to be a stay at home mum. I know women who want to stay at home but can’t for various reasons will most likely get pissed off by this post but as I’ve said a million times, these are my thoughts and feelings. Don’t like it – don’t read it.

I am not choosing to go back to work for financial reasons. I am choosing to return to work for me, so I am able to provide an even better future for my child. Yes, I worry I will miss important milestones but I try not to think about it as I come to terms my decision I’ve made.

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I never had any intention not to not return, but I kept my plans lose so I could see how I felt about being a stay-at-home. I went on maternity leave. Eleven weeks later I had already made my decision.

Does that make me a bad parent? No, but after reading various articles online people sure act like it.

There seems to be a lot of guilt associated with making the decision to put your children into some form of care, especially when they’re under 12 months old.

Jess and her son. (Image supplied.)

I am going to admit it: before I became a parent I used to always wonder what stay-at-home mums did.


I used to think they had it easy. Um, they don’t. Caring for a small human day/night is fucking hard work.

My decision to return to work is not because I can’t hack it. I know many women don’t have a choice and simply have to return to work because they financially can’t afford to stay home. In the industry I am in, I am lucky to be able to work 1-2 days from home and will look to find suitable care for my child three days a week.

This is going to be hard for me. I feel guilty when people say things to me like “Oh wow, you’re going back to work?”, “But he will only be 6 months old”, “What if you miss his first steps?”. Yes, thank you Captain Obvious.

"My decision to return to work is not because I can’t hack it, I know many don’t have a choice and simply have to return to work because they financially can’t afford to stay home." (Image supplied.)

I am doing what long-term is the best option for me and my child. I need adult conversations, I need to be challenged and I want to continue building my career and providing for my family. 

For some people, like me, being at home all the time can get really lonely. Yes – you have your wee one there but if you’re accustomed to the camaraderie of being around other adults, the drastic change can lead to bad feelings. Endless dirty nappies and washing becomes frustrating and its hard to find a sense of accomplishment.

"Being at home all the time can get really lonely." (Image supplied.)

I have a few close friends who have found themselves in similar situations. But we’re good mums and our children will thank us one day.

If you’re facing the tough decision and are weighing up your options, do what feels right. If you enjoy being a stay-at-home mum, I take my hat off to you. Do whatever possible to stay home with your little one, look into work that you can from home.

But if you aren’t enjoying it, it’s okay to return to work.

Your child isn’t going to love you any less.

This post first appeared on New Mum Club and is republished with permission. You can see more on Facebook.