rogue

"Dear Toblerone: You are officially dead to me."

I remember a happier time.

A time where chip bags were full, Mentos rolls were mostly pink, and Pringle cans were stacked to the brim.

Those days are well and truly behind us, friend – discerning consumers are being treated like buffoons, our delicious junk foods gradually being siphoned away one choc-chip at a time by grubby corporations.

And now, they’ve decided to really hit us where it hurts – with our favourite airport chocolate, Toblerone.

The manufacturer of the Swiss Chocolate, Mondelez International, have admitted to quietly trimming down their Toblerone products in Britain by 10 per cent, whilst maintaining the same retail price.

Proof: the 170 gram Toblerone is now a measly 150 grams, whilst their hefty 400 gram product – the airport favourite –  has now dropped two dress sizes to weigh in at just 360 grams.

Whilst no one will confirm the changes will reach our antipodean shores, one cannot feel that we are little more than a colonial outpost for their Toblerone whims.

The end is nigh.

[Update: a representative from Mondelez got in touch with Mamamia to clarify the changes for Australian customers. Full statement below.]

WAKE UP, SHEEPLE!

We are entering a dark period of Toblerone history, where the gaps are wider than Lauren Hutton’s front teeth. This is not the Toblerone we know and love.

This is a chocolate bar that looks like Toblerone, that tastes like Toblerone, but is catching major airtime between the triangles of nutty goodness… And that is NOT what I signed up for.

Mondelez reckon that the changes come after a significant rise in ingredient costs, whilst others are tossing around apocalypse theories that tie in rather well with the Trump/Clinton election.

For those who choose to ignore the ebbs and flows of international economics, this is the wake up call you needed.

The rising ingredient costs, Britain’s dwindling post-Brexit pound, and the 2015 weakening of the Swiss franc are all to blame for the new and improved destroyed Toblerone.

If anyone needed an explanation of international economics, the newly sparse Toblerone is a damn good demonstration: same price, less chocolate.

In fact, this phenomenon even has a name – ‘Shrinkflation’.

Everything from toilet paper to Allen’s Killer Pythons have fallen victim to shrinkflation, with companies insisting that they are simply playing catch up to increasing production costs.

Wtf is this shit.. never buying a toblerone again #illuminaticonfirmed #toblerone

A photo posted by Murphy (@murphymeatball) on

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I’ll miss you, Toblerone.

Your al-foil wrapping confetti that lives down the side of the couch. Your canny little Canadian bear/mountain logo. Your flecks of chewy…um, actually, what is that? Nougat? Honeycomb? Fairy dust?

But most of all, I’ll miss those 10 grams of Toblerone goodness that is now replaced with air.

It’s time to break off my final triangle, and break up. And I promise, this time, it’s not me: it’s you.

Toblerone spokeswoman:

We have announced a weight reduction in two Toblerone bars this year. The 150g bar that has been referenced in media is produced for UK discounters. It is distributed almost exclusively via the discounter Poundland in the UK.

The 360g bar, which was reduced from 400g, is available world-wide. This 360g bar has been in Australian stores since May. While the weight of this bar has been reduced, the shape fundamentally remains the same.

The change is due to a number of factors, including higher commodity costs – which have been a challenge across the industry for some time – and a change in foreign exchange rates, which led to a considerable production cost increase in Switzerland where the bar is manufactured.

We ultimately had to make these changes to maintain the quality and affordability of the bar for our Toblerone fans, and can assure you that the recipe hasn’t changed.

Tags: chocolate , facebook-rogue , opinion , toblerone
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