Look, I’m super happy for you and your loved one, but one more wedding invite and I’ll be forced into selling the house.
I have witnessed many of my friends go through sheer agony while deciding on their wedding guest list. It can often be a brutal chop of names to save some coin, so to make the final edit of the list is always a lovely thing.
So, I really don’t want to sound like I’m not honoured to witness the public declaration of love between some of my nearest and dearest but it is sending me BROKE!
Receiving an invite to a wedding comes with a hefty price tag.
I attended a wedding the other week and realised I spent a small fortune on the whole celebration. I realise I sound like a tight ass and I assure you I’m not, I even give my loose change to the busker down the street, when it would often come in handy for parking money. Generous I am! However, I am a tad over spending money on wedding spectaculars.
To kick off a wedding celebration we arrive at the first event, which is the Hen’s party.
You can never escape this day without $150 falling out of your wallet. Let’s be honest, fine wine, party buses and penis straws are not cheap. I’m not embarrassed to admit my bosom buddies are all about strippers grinding them inappropriately and that kind of entertainment ain’t cheap.
The next event to follow was a Kitchen Tea. What a serious crock this is. I didn’t realise people still even had these kinds of parties. I always pictured a Kitchen Tea being an ancient shindig where women sip tea from fine china and swoon over cutlery that has been given as a generous gift. Of course this is such an old school image that I visualise it all in sepia tone.
I attended my first-ever Kitchen Tea for this particular wedding and I must admit it was not far from that at all. I sat and ate cake and sipped on tea with an odd mix of aunties, cousins, best friends and a cat. It was brain-numbingly boring and to add an extra element of gross we were required to bring a present. Whaaa? Didn’t we just spend $150 for a man dressed as a leopard to rub his man bits in your face? And now you want us to drink tea with your Grandma AND give a gift? $80 for a Country Road salad bowl exited my wallet with great speed and my mood went sombre.