If you’ve got a pulse and a wifi connection, then you’ve seen photos of Kim Kardashian’s shiny naked body in the past 24 hours.
Your reaction may have gone a little something like this:
Shock >> Awe >> Guilt >> Disbelief at the proportions of this woman >> Curiosity about whether it’s real >> Relief when you think it’s Photoshopped and/or result of butt implants >> Jealousy because now you want butt implants >> Disgust because you just coveted someone else’s butt and considered surgery to get there >> Insecurity about your own butt >> Desire to talk about whether big butts are in now >> Exhaustion when you realise this just means you’ve got another ridiculous beauty expectation to comply with as a member of the female species.
And that’s completely normal. We all felt it.
Actually, the perfect summation of this whole Butt Worship situation comes from that brilliant comedian Tina Fey. Check it.
As usual, Tina Fey’s take is complete perfection and you can’t mess with it. If you know anyone who needs to debrief on this entire Butt Worship thing, make sure you show them that perfect, perfect paragraph from Tina. Made us feel much better.
Meanwhile, over at Buzzfeed…
The team address the all-important issue of whether these images are real. Can they be possibly be real? Do proportions like Kim’s actually exist in human form? Someone clever Photoshopped Kim a realistic sized waist:
Either way, she’s sensational naked. Good luck to you, American athletes.