Oh, you only have first level orgasms? That’s so amateur. Second level? That’s for chumps.
Anyone who’s anyone with a G-Spot these days is all about ‘third level’ pleasure.
Yep – ‘third level orgasms’ are a thing now, you guys. And you only have to insert a terrifying-looking vibrator into your vagina to get one. Easy as pie.
This is The Ultimate G:
It kind of looks like an alien reading a book. Or a fancy toothbrush holder. Or a sad, faceless Gumby looking in a handheld mirror.
Whatever ink-blot type explanation it triggers in your mind, I think we can all agree that the idea of (somehow – not quite sure yet) putting that thing in your special place is terrifying.
Seriously, take a closer look:Wah?Yikes.
But apparently, this sad, faceless gumby is what it takes to get a lady to the ultimate in orgasms: the third level.
Made by a company called Anne Summers, the website provides the following description (using lots of words like ‘heavenly’ and ‘pleasure’ and ‘satisfaction’, which to be honest, is kind of convincing me):
Think you’ve had a G-spot orgasm before? Think again. Made from luxuriously soft silicone and with multiple vibrations, the rechargeable Ultimate G has been designed to help women achieve the heavenly third level of orgasm. It’s the most intense and long-lasting part of the female orgasm and it gives complete satisfaction. The Ultimate G’s unique shape has been designed by medical experts to fit your body’s natural form and the main shaft with multiple pleasure bumps target your G-Spot directly, while the outer arms target the sensitive inner clitoris.
So there you have it. Third level is where it’s at, and alien vibrators are how you get there.
Are you game?
And if you’ve already tried this thing, PLEASE share. I’m dying to know if the legends are true.
Like Mamamia Rogue on Facebook
Rogue is Mamamia’s space for fun, viral and random content, with everything from feminism to pop culture. We scour the internet so you don’t have to, and bring all the best bits back.