Every parent's sh*t list. Perhaps you're already on it?

By BERN MORLEY

There have been many times during the past 15 years of parenthood when I’ve been annoyed by people for what they have or haven’t done. But it’s always been an internal and mental list, left trapped inside my frustrated mind.

Until now.

I think it’s time to introduce the Parent’s ‘Sh*t List’.

Maybe you’ll find yourself nodding along in agreement or maybe, especially if you’ve been known to do any of the following, you’ll find yourself on it. If so, congratulations! you’ve just made the ‘Parent Sh*t List’!

1. The person who invented loom bands. ON THE LIST

2. Anyone who smokes in the vicinity of a child. ON THE LIST

3. The teacher who gives your kid a recorder and then sends it home for them to “practice”. ON THE MOTHER FREAKING LIST

4. People who ignore or excuse their own child’s bullying behaviour. ON. THE. LIST.

5. Anyone who cannot or WILL not replace the toilet roll. SO ON THE LIST.

6. Antivaxxers. ON THE LIST X 2

7. The parent who brags about their newborn sleeping through the night when you’ve just explained your exhaustion after being woken up every 2 hours. THE LIST LADY, YOU’RE ON IT.

8.Parents who drop their kids off to daycare/school or worse, bring them INTO WORK when they’re sick and contagious. Three words – ON THE LIST.

9. Grandparents who feed their grandchildren copious amounts of sugar approximately 30 minutes before handing them back to their parents. NANNA, YOU JUST MADE THE LIST.

11. People who suggest that their parenting style is far superior to your own. ON IT.

12. The people who say “don’t be a spoilsport” or “they can have just 1”, when you’ve said no to the lolly/chips/soft drink/chocolate etc. Back off. For that, you MAKE THE LIST.

13. Parents who buy their child their own iPhone when they’re 7 years old. ON THE LIST for pure overindulgence.

14. People who don’t have kids that try and tell you how to discipline your child. Get back to me when you’ve got some kids of your own and let me know how that all works out for you. UNTIL THEN, ON THE LIST.

15. The family member that gives your child a drum kit for Christmas. They’ll have done this knowing full well that this earns them a spot ON THE LIST.

17. Those parents that, despite knowing better, still send food with nuts to school in their children’s lunchbox. If you can live with being the reason a child has an avoidable anaphylactic shock on your conscious, you keep that RIGHT up. Until then, LIST.

18. The ice-cream truck that comes up your street blaring ‘Green sleeves’ JUST as you’ve gotten your ratty toddler off to sleep. Those Mofos are on THE LIST.

One last one that doesn’t specifically make it onto the ‘Parents’ shit list, but shit lists in general –

19. Anyone who reverse parks into a car park and holds up streams of traffic unnecessarily. Just. Stop. It.

How about you? Anyone made it onto your ‘shit list’ lately?