Uber release a list of the weirdest stuff people have left in cars. And... wow.

Every week drunk people across the globe wave goodbye to items they hold dear to them as they tumble drunk from Ubers in the wee hours of the morning.

Aside from countless dignities — and smartphones — drivers collect thousands of misplaced things from their back seats, some of which are rather bizarre.

While you’ll likely never see your missing keys again, Uber has released a Lost & Found Index so at least you’ll know you’re far from the only forgetful idiot in the world.

Obviously, there’s the ordinary stuff; phones are the most commonly left behind (surprise!), closely followed by rings, keys, wallets, glasses, purses, ID cards, gloves, chargers and sunnies.


But there was also a list of 50 more "unique" items discarded across the United States.

For example, some poor sod lost a set of "valuable Nordic walking robes", which really must be one-of-a-kind because a Google image search shed absolutely no light on what they might look like.

There were pool sticks, pearl earrings, pot plants, paintings and, um, a lobster.

In fact, all different kinds of food were abandoned... Someone left sweet potatoes in a care package, and there was literally everything you could need to host a perfectly adequate BBQ including (but not limited to); a grill set, a wedding outfit, a packet of meat, a smoke machine, mustard and salsa verde.

Uber have given a sneak peek inside their lost and found.

Oh, and some valium to chill you out if you're easily stressed by the thought of entertaining (here's hoping they have a fridge at Uber HQ).

There was also musical instruments, engagement rings (*weeps*), furniture, lasers AND tazers.

A bullet proof vest, a copy of Crime & Punishment (which, let's face it, they were only carrying to look clever anyway) and a cut out of an elf.

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Funnily enough, SUNDAYS were the day people most often lost their things and the most forgetful day for Americans in 2016 was inexplicably October 30.

Anyway, if you do happen to leave something behind, it's always worth trying to get in touch with your driver to get it back.

All you have to do it tap the menu, pick "Help" then "Report an issue with the trip", say "I lost an item" et voila!

You can read the list in full here.