Do you remember life before kids?
When the nappy and baby products aisle of the supermarket was the one you skipped straight for the deli counter. When the decorations on your walls were deliberate and you would vacuum the sand out of your car after you went to the beach. You know, to keep it looking nice.
Ah, those were the days.
You actually considered buying a white sofa and just sometimes instead of going to the gym before work you went to the beach and had a swim, a latte and just gazed at the clouds.
The days when blissfully ignorant statements like “ When I have kids I’ll never let them sleep in my bed” would come freely flowing out of your mouth and you’d never even realise just what a blind fool you were.
A thread on the chat site “MumsNet” have been reminiscing on all the dumb things they’ve heard out of the mouths of the non-parents among us, making the staff at The Motherish remember the inane things they once said too…
1. “I’d never lose it at my child in public.”
2. “If you just give him the vegetables he’s going to eat them. He won’t just sit there.”
3. “I’d never let my kid walk around half-naked/in that crazy outfit.”
4. “Soft play looks like great fun. I wish they had it for adults.”
5. “I’d never let my child have a bottle.”
6. “I’m so tired. My dog woke me up at midnight last night to let him outside.”
7. “I will cook my babies organic fruit and vegetable purees. I would never give them anything pre-packaged.”
Long week at work? Never mind, it’s the weekend tomorrow. Image via iStock.
8. "I think I slept too long last night!"
9. "I’m just having a lazy weekend at home pottering."
10. "Let’s have lunch. You can leave the baby with someone can’t you?"
11. "Just ask him to be quiet while you’re on the phone."
12. "I’m ready to leave. I just need my keys and money."
13. "Long week at work? Never mind, it’s the weekend tomorrow."
14. “Did you have a nice day off?” – the question I am asked every Wednesday after spending the previous day with 2 crazy toddlers on my “non working day”.
15. "I wish people would stop using their children as an excuse for being late to work/being off work."
16. "Parents who let their kids watch television are terrible parents."
I’d never let MY child have a tantrum. Image: iStock.
17. "As said by an expectant-mother at work: 'There is no way I’d take a baby or toddler to the supermarket.'"
18. "Childcare seems very expensive – I’ll get a job where I can work from home so I don’t need to pay for it."
19. "Did you have a relaxing holiday?"
Watch: The childbirth questions you were too afraid to ask:
20. "Said to me by colleague expecting her first: I’m worried I’m going to be so bored on maternity leave. I’m going to learn Spanish, what did you do with your time?"
21. "I’ll never let my kids use devices at the dinner table."
22. "Why would you give a baby a dummy? I would NEVER want to stop a child from expressing themselves."
23. "Why don’t you exercise before the kids wake up in the mornings?"
“My children will NEVER eat lollies or sugar.” Image via iStock.
24. "I’m glad the clocks go back this weekend, we get an extra hour in bed….."
25. "You lay with your child every night until they fall asleep?"
26. "I have totally found the very best white jeans. I’ll wear them everyday."
27. "Is there anything new to binge on Netflix?"
What did you say pre-kids that you now know was simply just wrong?
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