Seven things I didn't expect after two C-sections.

I had my first C-section six and a half years ago and my second C-section four years ago. I myself was born by caesarean and I’ve turned out wonderfully so I was never worried about having my kids that way – I kind of expected it. My son was, by definition, an emergency C-section but there was nothing high speed about it. I’d been in labour for what felt like forever, my doctor calmly discussed options with me and it seemed like the sensible choice. As a type A person, timing and control are important to me, so I was happy to be wheeled into the operating room to meet my baby rather than lose my cool and risk pooping on the delivery bed. 

Two years later, my daughter was a scheduled C-section. We met with the surgeon, discussed the options and made the decision. Then with a toddler, the idea of controlling timing and understanding recovery expectations was extra appealing. If two babies coming out ‘the sunroof’ was my story, I was happy with that. 

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Now, years postpartum, there are things I wish I’d known about having a C-section. There are C-section facts that aren’t in the articles about surgery and recovery. Here are a few things I’ve learned about C-sections... 

You’ll be numb for years. 

Literally years. By the time I had my second C-section, the skin, muscle and tissue around my scar were still numb. It was like a dentist appointment that never ended, a section of my body not connected to the rest. 

There was no pain but I couldn’t feel my own fingers pressing on my skin. It took me a long time to feel comfortable touching or really looking at the scar. It wasn’t until two years after my second surgery and the help of a professional, I became comfortable touching and looking at my scar.

The shelf. 

If you’ve had a c-section you have a shelf. Now on the fittest, tiniest of women the shelf is very slight, too small for a teacup, but we all have it. There’s a little bit of skin above the scar that no matter how many sit ups or cardio sessions you do, just won’t budge. The shelf is caused by excess scar tissue forming along your incision. There are ways to break down this scar tissue but if you set expectations that you’ll have a little shelf, you’ll be better off. 

You’ll Pee a little (or a lot). 

Before giving birth I thought bladder issues, peeing yourself and leaking were all reserved for those who deliver vaginally. I was sadly mistaken. Pregnancy isn’t easy on the body and any style of childbirth causes strain. For reasons you can ask your doctor, even when a C-section is the final result, the pelvic floor is weakened. Immediately after giving birth, I also bled way more than I’d expected. The bleeding I had been warned about, but incontinence – that was a surprise. 

You’ll need therapy. 

I got advice from someone aptly named, 'The Vagina Coach', when I was two YEARS postpartum and still suffering incontinence. She said, "If you have a vagina, you should see a pelvic floor therapist.” She busted the myth I’d been told that only vaginal births had the ‘pee yourself’ side effect. I had imagined the postpartum period to last six weeks, so it was a surprise to find myself in a pelvic floor physiotherapist’s office while my 2 and a half year old was at daycare. 

In physiotherapy I learned there were around two centimetres of scar tissue built up behind my incision pressing on my bladder, literally making it smaller. Luckily with massage and exercises I’ve been able to win back some space in my bladder reducing the frequency of my toilet visits. 

Birth is birth. 

I’ve heard caesareans called unnatural, the easy way out, cheating or even not a real birth. Spoiler: there’s no easy way to birth a baby. No matter how that little bundle exits your body, it’s called giving birth. Steer clear of people that question your birthing circumstance or imply you made a poor decision. Very few women elect for a c-section when it’s not the best choice for their baby. Giving birth is a massive accomplishment regardless of the drugs, time, surgeons, scalpels, and dilated vaginas involved. 

High-waisted all the way. 

Almost immediately after emerging from the operating room a love affair with high-waisted clothing will begin. Skirts, pants, jeans, swimsuits and shorts – you’ll be scouring the racks looking for descriptions like 'mum jeans' or 'high rise'. This clothing style is your friend. It will suck you in and give your c-section scar a hug, preventing it from bouncing or jiggling when you’d rather it didn’t. Find fashion icons that have also given birth and follow them – high-waisted can be high fashion.  

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Scarred for life. 

You can rub in all the vitamin B you want but the scar is permanent. I like to think of mine as a tattoo I never wanted but mistakenly got in a moment of weakness. It’s part of my story. Although it doesn’t see the light of day often (thank you, high-waisted jeans) I know it’s there and have grown to appreciate the gateway that made me a mother. I now look at and touch my scar wondering how the small people terrorizing my home ever fit through that tiny stitch. 

April is International Caesarean Awareness Month. This initiative aims to create awareness and conversations around C-sections on topics like reducing preventable caesareans, supporting caesarean recovery, and advocating for vaginal birth after caesarean (VBAC.) C-sections are a reality for many women, we may as well be honest about them.  

Feature Image: Supplied