Over the last twelve months there has been a global outbreak of a devastating virus, an outbreak which is now reaching epidemic proportions. It’s called Thermomix, and it’s coming to a living room near you.
Please read the following fact sheet carefully, so that you can protect yourself and your loved ones from this threat.
What is the Thermomix Virus?
Thermomix meets the clinical criteria for a virus: they are non-living, infective organisms that cannot reproduce without a host. The host typically assembles groups of potential agents and holds them captive for several hours, feeding them vermicelli noodles and fresh muffins while the virus spreads to new hosts. These hosts will then go on to infect others in a systematic and thoroughly organised manner
Once established, Thermomix takes over the host’s functions, cooking all its meals from scratch and rendering the host redundant; all the while continuing to reproduce itself. Contagion is rapid and widespread. Thermomix attacks the digestive system with targeted food vectors and – though we are still unsure of the exact mechanism – attacks the parts of the brain involved with rational decision-making and impulse control.
Researchers are unable to make a close study of Thermomix, and so much about this virus remains shrouded in secrecy to the uninfected. We have limited information about what Thermomix actually does, and at this stage there is no way of collecting the relevant data without exposure to “Thermomix Parties”, with the subsequent risk of infection. Infected persons are notorious for their secrecy and their refusal to disclose basic information about Thermomix outside of these host parties.