food

2016 was the year of the avocado: Celebrities, tattoos and a generational war.

Millenials deserve expensive breakfasts because Bernald Salt has bought all the houses. These are 2016 references, people.

Miley Cyrus has a tattoo of one.

Nigella Lawson says that it’s the “fabric of life”.

And this year, the small green fruit that makes breakfast worth waking up for sparked a generational stoush on social media.

Avocadoes. Avos. Av.

Smashed, sliced or smoothied, they were completely ubiquitous in 2016.

Gather around and hear tell of a time when it was NOT COOL to eat avocados. That was when FAT was bad, and CARBS were good. People actually said things like “But they don’t taste of anything,” and “They’re just not worth the calories.” Avos languished in fruit bowls, turning to brown, crusty mush. Forgotten.

Times have changed. These days, we “spiralise”  things called zoodles (zucchini noodles) and think grains are the devil. Avocados, with their “healthy fats” and Vitamins K, C, B5, B6 and E, oodles of folate and potassium (things, apparently, that are good for us), are spread on everything.

And we’re paying the price. Earlier this year, the humble avo became so expensive it actually sparked a crime-wave in New Zealand, with several avo orchards hit by ute-driving gangs who picked the lot and sped off in the dead of night.

People immortalised their appreciation of the stone fruit in body ink. Behold:

But none of this compares to what happened in October when a grumpy baby-booming demographer (whatever that is) wrote a column in The Australian that so upset the avocado-loving youth, the Internet has only just recovered from the indignation outbreak.

Brace yourself to relive that iconic 2016 moment when Bernard Salt dared to type:

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“I have seen young people order smashed avo with crumbled feta on five-grain bread at $22 a pop. I can afford to eat this for lunch because I am middle-aged and have raised my family. But how can young people afford to eat like this? Shouldn’t they be economising by eating at home? How often are they eating out? Twenty-two dollars several times a week could go towards a deposit on a house.”

Yowch.

What happened next?

This funny stuff on SBS Comedy:

This serious analysis on the BBC:


And several people did the sums, including The Daily Telegraph:

Yes, the avocado housing crisis was a genuine concern in 2016, and yet again, us smug Generation Xers got to stand by and watch as the two squeaky-wheel generations - Baby Boomers and the Millennnials - got into a slap-fight about who was more entitled to throw their money away on sour-dough and mush.

The right answer: $22 for avocado on toast is criminal no matter who's paying.

We all know that when times are tough - or when housing bubbles are impenetrable - it's the little things that bring the joy. Once upon a time, 'the little things' meant a $5 lipstick. These days the 'little things' are iPhone 7s. Subscriptions to every streaming service. And $22 breakfasts.

"My latest development in avocado toast experimentation..." Nigella Lawson LOVES avocado on toast.

If buying a house seems about as realistic a proposition as a Nirvana reunion, who can be blamed for seeking solace in deconstructed coffee and silky, silky avocado on crunchy toast.

Bernard was right - old people have earned the right to expensive breakfast. But the Young People are soothing their fiscal anxiety with it. They deserve expensive breakfasts because Bernard has bought all the houses and their housing options include the hollowed out shell of an old avocado.

At least this deeply strange year has given us a new nursery rhyme.

There was a young woman who lived in an avo...

Binge on the wonderful Mamamia Out Loud, here:

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