The words “trannie-prostitute-infested-sperm” just roll of the tongue, don’t they?

No wonder Denise Richards’ new reality show is called “It’s Complicated”. It’s taking me a while to mentally unpack the whole “trannie-prostitute-infested-sperm” allegation she just made against ex-husband Charlie Sheen.

For those who’ve just joined this lovely little shit-fight between Charlie and Denise, let’s re-cap.

1. Charlie – who is a notorious past user of prostitutes and was one of Heidi Fleis’s celebrity clients – and Denise who was, I think, a Bond Girl got married.

2. They had two kids in quick succession (girls Sam and Lola are now 3 and 4).

3. Charlie and Denise got divorced and things got really, really, really ugly. This uglieness and their subsequent divorce was played out publicly in a way that made even the most celebrity-obsessed junkie cover her ears and shriek TOO MUCH INFORMATION ALREADY!!!

4. Currently, Charlie Sheen is the star of America’s most popular sitcom Two
and a Half Men (it’s also successful here – I watched it once and
loathed it with a capital loathe) and Denise has made a reality show
for E. She says she did it because as a single mother, she needs to
support herself and her girls and also “to show people what I’m really
like”.

5. She’s been hitting the PR trail this week and copped it on The View
from Whoopi Goldberg for letting her kids appear in the show (clip below).

This week, Charlie claimed Denise sent him an email asking for his
sperm so she could have another baby. Denise fired back – via the New
York Post – that she never sent that email.  She also said this:

“Last week, I sent Charlie a text message asking him if he’s going
to Family Day (for daughter Sam’s school) and letting him know Sam was
sick with a cold. His response was, ‘I hope you and your worthless retarded father
get cancer and join your stupid mom. Rot in hell you whore.’ My mom
died of cancer. This is what I deal with on a weekly basis.
He missed Dad’s day at the school and my father had to go in his place. And this is how he talks to me? I don’t want
Charlie’s prostitute-tranny-infested sperm. I have two beautiful kids.
We’ll leave it at that. I am so over him. He’s the one who can’t move
on. He’s disgusting and he’s hit an all-time low.”