lifestyle

Highlights from the week that was.

By MAMAMIA ROGUE

Keeping track of all the news in the week that was, is almost as hard as keeping focused on a Friday afternoon. So we decided to try and solve both those problems for you: with a Friday arvo highlight reel of all the bits you need to know.

Enjoy.

Australia

1. The Coalition have introduced their genius policy to stop the boats: Don’t tell anyone that they haven’t stopped the boats.

Previous governments have informed the media every time an unauthorised boat was intercepted by Australia navy personnel. But our new government have decided that they’ll inform the community and the media only ‘from time-to-time’.

And by ‘time to time’ obviously they mean they’ll whisper all the relevant info to whoever’s closest during half time at the NRL grand final. Labor are acting all like they’re not jealous that they didn’t think of it but they totally are.

2. Bob Katter made everyone feel okay about Australian politics again when he tweeted this:

3. Brynne Edelsten wore something understated to the Brownlow’s and disappointed everybody:

ADVERTISEMENT

Everywhere else

1. The Emmys happened and all anyone cared about was this incredible speech by everyone’s new spirit animal, Merritt Wever:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XbNRDyUN6Rg

2. The Curiosity rover has discovered water on Mars. A scoop of sand collected by the rover back in 2011 has been found by scientists ot have a ‘surprsing’ amount of water.

“”If you take a cubic foot of that soil you can basically get two pints of water out it.”

Not a lot, but still, impressive. And probably more than this kid could ever manage to find:

3. Team Oracle, an US sailing team led by an Australian, won the America’s Cup on Tuesday.

Wait. WAIT. They were led by an Australian?

Allow us to rephrase:

AUSTRALIA WON THE AMERICA’S CUP BITCHEZ! WE RULE THE EARTH IN ALL THINGS SPORTS RELATED.

4. A man in Columbia has had his penis amputated after his viagara worked way, way too well.

The 66-year-old man took more than he was meant to in an effort to impress his girlfriend with his brilliant sexual prowess. When he eventually realised that immense pain and wee-wee bruises aren’t actually normal, he took himself on down to the hospital. But by then it was too late.

Leaving it meant he would get gangrene in his penis.

He went for the chop.

The Interwebs:

1. This hedgehog became an instant celebrity with her glamorous interpretation of Miley Cyrus’ Wrecking Ball:

2. This depressing infographic about women in TV has been making the rounds:

3. Jimmy Fallon, Stephen Merchent and Joseph Gordon Levitt did a lip-synch battle and it was so amazing it broke everyone’s brains:

Tags:
    00:00 / ???