entertainment

The Voice. The Battle Rounds. The Analysis

Straight into it my darlings. Mummy just realised that Eurovision will be on at the same time as The Voice and she doesn’t know how to process that information. I’m going to stop talking n the 3rd person and push on.

The judges had yet another costume change for night 2 of the battle rounds. Delta looked fierce in a navy sequined frock with severe shoulders, Joel had on a fine basketball singlet, Keith was perfect and Seal was almost wearing a shirt. I cannot believe the wardrobe people let him do 2 buttons up, for shame.

First up, team Keith. Stay at home Dad Cam Vs youth worker Taga -Cam was pretty cocky out of the blocks, he wrote Taga off as “weak”. Taga responded by being totally adorable. He smiled, pointed, clapped, wore a lovely pair of mustard slacks and charmed the crap out of everyone. The producers edited the package to look as though Cam had it in the bag, we all saw through that one. Taga had the goods and sang “If I could change the world” in such a joyful manner that Keith had no choice but to choose him.

Next Delta paired the Russian princess up against Jessica Rabbit aka Viktoria and Peta. These two were repeatedly called “intense” which I think was Delta’s code for cray cray. Viktoria, bless her, thought it poignant to point out how much older Peta was than her. Peta felt she WAS the song Delta had picked for them: Prince’s epic power ballad “Purple rain”. All’s I’m sayin’ is no one should be all up in Prince’s grill messing with his perfect song. Somewhere a small man of African/Caucasian descent and a penchant for Cuban heels is crying in a sexy, sexy room made of purple velvet. (Prince, I obviously am referring to Prince.) At one point when Viktoria was singing, Peta came up behind her and I thought … never mind, they gave what could only be described as an intensely intense performance. Both girls could sing, both looked smoking hot but in the end Delta went the girl most likely to wait for her in the car park after the show – Viktoria. (Smart Goodrem, smart.)

Seal chose the lovely Michael with the delicate beauty spot and Anthony to sing Stevie Wonder’s classic “Living for the city”. It was pretty obvious from the get go that Seal preferred Michael as a singer. They both gave it a red hot crack but I think Stevie should probably be the only one singing Stevie. Seal chose Michael, the end.

Next it was a battle of sheer hair product. The multi-talented and immaculate Nick up against Robert Pattinson look-a-like: Laykn. Joel picked Angus and Julia Stone’s “Big jet plane” for the boys to sing. I liked them both. I liked them so much I was imagining how nice their hair would smell. The song suited Laykn’s laid back style more so he progressed to the next round.

Back to team Delta and what do we have here? A “diva derby” you say Keith Urban? Indeed it was, Dannie vs Sarah.  Delta did what needed to be done, she went and picked the classic, over the top ballad “Hero” by Mariah Carey for them to sing. I was rooting for “All by myself” by Celine Dion but “Hero” would have to do. The girls both teared it a new one, there were slow waves to the crowd, heel flicks, tears, begging and pearl clutching but in the end it was decreed that Danni over sung it best.

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Keith decided that Jimmy and Glen “I am Maximus Decimus Meridius” should go head to head. He picked a fairly sedate song in “Plans” by Birds of Tokyo for these two manly men to sing. I have to say I LOVED Jimmy from the get go, he excites me. His voice is pure rock, I mean proper “Bon Scott concrete balls” rock. As Glen pointed out, Jimmy seems to have no ceiling on his voice. Glen was nice, and sounded great but it was all about Jimmy. He is already an early favourite of mine. I hope Keith just gives him BOOMING songs to sing from here on in. Oh, Jimmy got picked.

Team Joel’s turn again and he gave us Laura Vs Mali-Koa. Joel showed the girls how to sing a shocking note well. He said that if you have “passion pitch” “perfect pitch” doesn’t matter … Okaaaaaay. There was some un-sanctioned speaking from Beni which Joel QUICKLY put a stop to. I suspect they will have words about it later as well. The girls took to the stage and cranked out the Four Non Blondes track: “What’s going on.” Laura was picked as the victor, this was about the only decision I disagreed with tonight. I thought Mali was a far better singer. On another note: Laura is obviously a massive fan of Kate Bush, which is great but I think there is a fine line between paying homage and flat out impersonating someone. I think Laura strayed into the latter territory at times.

Finally the moment we’d all been waiting for.. Could guy Sebastian’s brother mark his own territory, carve his own niche, make his own mark, find his own way, own his own own? COULD HE? Yes, yes it seems he very much could. Chris Sebastian and the softly spoken Yshrael were given the ridiculous task of singing Katy Perry’s “Firework” by Seal. Not that I am questioning our leader, OK I am. What a stupid-face song choice for 2 blokes, I’ve heard Katy Perry sing it live and she could barely do it. Both of them struggled, it’s just that Chris struggled less. He really does sound like Guy though so I DO wonder how he will FIND HIS OWN place in the Australian pop music landscape. He and Guy could always start a boy band and call it Guy squared … What? Too far?

I will be live tweeting again next week (catch me here) so until then my cherubs, be well.

Em Rusciano appears on Network Ten’s ’The Project’, she also  regularly hosts The Circle. You should follow her on Twitter here (she is Mamamia’s official The Voice tweeter) and read her blog here. No really you should

Did you watch last night? Did you love it?

NOTE: Just a reminder of our dinner party rules. Any rude comments directed at contestants, the judges or other commenters will be deleted or edited.

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