We have an emergency – like, sirens are ringing – because the duo who created only the single best Australian album of all time (yes, I’m talking about the The Secret Life Of… and yes, it lived permanently in my discman despite the obvious spelling errors in the title of 4eva) may be breaking up and the world as we know it has stopped spinning.
Me, using too much hyperbole? Never.
Anyway, it could be suggested our national treasures The Veronicas are parting ways. That they’re in a ‘rift’.
We know something is up because Ruby Rose said so. We know this also because we stalked them and thus bring to you all the signs we missed that the Veronicas may now be the Veron-can’ts. That was bad. Onwards.
The Ruby Rose thing
Ruby Rose provided the first little clue that something was awry between her girlfriend Jess Origliasso and her twin sister Lisa, posting this to Twitter overnight in the wake of the same-sex marriage postal vote result:
“So glad to see Lisa Origliasso screaming in excitement about the yes vote after telling us she thinks we should feel ‘lucky’ we don’t get stoned to death like they do in other countries and to get over it a few months ago. Really warms my heart,” Rose had tweeted.
But actually! Her heart isn't warm. Ruby Rose isn't glad. How do we know? This:
There be an eye-roll. Ruby Rose be sarcasm.
The album thing
Two days before Ruby Rose tweeted-and-deleted as if she's teasing the world's most intriguing spoiler, The Veronicas themselves gave us the only clue we ever needed but we're terrible detectives so have only just realised.
They pushed their album back.
"To all of our amazing supporters, we announce earlier this year that we would release our 4th studio album in 2017, but due to personal circumstances out of our control, we have made the decision to hold releases until 2018."
"Thank you for your ongoing love. See you next year xx.”
The unfollowing thing
Excuse us, but The Daily Mail - the purveyor of all things good and true - reports Ruby Rose unfollowed Lisa on Twitter in APRIL, with Jessica doing the same in September.
Being the formidable fact-checker I am, I did some digging. It would appear Lisa and Jess don't follow each other on Instagram either.
HOW CAN YOU BE IN A BAND TOGETHER AND NOT FOLLOW EACH OTHER ON INSTAGRAM?
(I will carefully skim over the fact I am 99 per cent sure my sister unfollowed me on Instagram some time ago due to the "frequency" of my posts and proceed to ignore context and facts to keep this theory alive.)
The June 12 thing
Something happened after June 12. I know this because Instagram tells me so.
On June 12, The Veronicas performed their newest single The Only High on The Today Show. Both posted about it on their individual accounts. The Veronicas' joint account posted about it too.
And then? Radio silence. NOTHING. No photos of them together. Why they no promote their new song? Where be the selfies? HELP.
The no social media activity thing
Same thing as above but I wanted more sub-headings to make this entire thing look more legitimate.
There has been no sign of the duo together since June minus one photo on Jess' account regarding marriage equality but Lisa wasn't tagged so that obviously (obviously) doesn't count.
The thing with their fans just knowing
Their fans just know something is up, taking to their album announcement to, well, say as much.
First came @discobizcut.
"You guys aren’t even following each other right now," discobuzcut said. Correct.
Then came @rania_veronica.
"Can someone explain us whats going on? I love you girls very much but I worry about you and it makes me sad and disappointed."
You and me both Rania.
Oh, and then there was this:
"I just read that they don't follow eachother. And now Ruby took aim at Lisa in a tweet."
In conclusion, I spent a lot of time on my phone and believe there is something going on between the Veronicas because Ruby Rose says so and I would desperately like to know why because I listen to their music a lot and very much like to sing along.
And that's all.
As you were.