Tonight, the first episode of The Bachelorette will air.
But before it begins, there is something we need to address.
It’s…it’s the promo.
Let’s start from the beginning.
Georgia Love is walking through a place that looks like Paris and most definitely not Tasmania on what appears to be a perfectly fine day.
We would stipulate that it is approximately 22 degrees with maybe 30% humidity and a very low chance of rain. If we saw that weather forecast, we’d opt for maybe jeans and a t-shirt.
You know what we wouldn’t think to grab? A f*cking umbrella.
Yet, there it is. A big, red, completely unnecessary umbrella.
If someone poked either of us in the eye with an umbrella on a 22 degree sunny day...we would lose it.
And quite frankly, WE DON'T TRUST PEOPLE WHO USE UMBRELLAS WHEN IT'S NOT RAINING.
Georgia then explains that "No one ever actually believes my surname's Love..." which seems like the exact type of thing you would say if you were lying about your surname.
This ties into our sincere belief that Georgia Love is the first individual to be bred purely for the purposes of The Bachelorette.
Hence her a) physical perfection and b) made up surname.
THIRD OF ALL, she says she's a "reporter" in "Tasmania" - but have YOU ever seen her on TV?
We didn't think so.
Plus, everyone knows that there aren't any TVs in Tasmania. That's a known fact. Tasmania is a made up place where they breed future reality TV stars.
It's then that the sad music starts. Georgia is in front of a camera, kicking career goals. She is driven, articulate and successful.