Excuse me, but we have a problem.
Last night, The Bachelor season five premiered, and we met precisely 22 eligible Bachelorette’s competing to offer Matty J their very own fertile uterus (uteruses? uteri?).
There was the woman who only lasted a few hours before lifting her leg and audibly farting (respect), and another who stole vital police resources to stage a gimmick. And look, that was all fine.
But there was one introduction that was edited out. And we’re having precisely none of it.
You can watch the exclusive footage of Clare J’s arrival on The Bachelorette last night. Post continues below.
Meet Clare J.
Yes, she’s preemptively changed her surname to match Matty’s. Yes, she’s a multi-conceptual-visually-aesthetic-artist. Yes, her gimmick was mime. And yes, she’s pissed off they aired the episode and fully pretended she wasn’t there.