I don’t exactly advocate divorce for anyone with a gripe about his or her spouse. Whatever I think of my own divorce, it’s not something to take lightly. Divorce is serious. It’s the death of a relationship, the end of something that was supposed to last forever. It must be grieved.
But damnit, sometimes it’s the best thing we can do for ourselves.
I stayed married much longer than I should have for a million and one reasons:
I’m not a quitter. I said ’til death do us part, and I meant that. I’m not a failure, and I refuse to fail at this. I will make it work. I can’t make it on my own. It’s too hard and scary, and it requires too much money. I don’t want my family to be disappointed in me.
(The Mamamia team reveal the deal breakers that ended their past relationships. Post continues after video.)
Not one reason had a thing to do with the man I was married to. I didn’t tell myself I loved him. I couldn’t convince myself that he would change.
By the time I seriously contemplated divorce, I’d resigned myself to the idea that he would always be who he was, and I would have to deal with it, regardless of how much I hated it.
I don’t know how I would have felt if I still loved him when we parted ways. I can’t imagine how much harder it would have been.
The reality was that by the time we figured out the terms, filed the paperwork, and received word that we were no longer legally tied to one another (not counting the ties we’ll have forever because of our children), I was more than ready to move on. Life needed to change and fast. (Post continues after gallery.)