You have no idea of what it is actually really truly like to be a single parent.
Do you know what gets my goat? And I’m talking, instant anger, flare up, nostrils splay out, lips become a thin line, brow furrows and my fingers instantly want to tap furiously onto something to get my feelings out. It’s when partnered women cry ‘single parent’.
Yes, I hear you all now, and yes this is a direct response to Amelia Mitchell from the article I’m a single mum, Monday to Friday. Here you all go, I’m pushing the soapbox forward for you all, so form an orderly line. “Stop judging her”, “maybe she does feel single”, “she has her side to the story”, “but her husband does work all the time” and “she never sees him and he never sees them”.
To all of that I have one word “choice”.
We all as conscious human beings have to some degree a level of choice in our lives. If you choose not to exercise it – to play slave to the money god then yes – probably you will lead a life like that and get to 40 something and wonder why you don’t remember you suddenly teenager’s childhood. So please, don’t cry ‘single parent’ just because your partner works long hours or is away. The fact is, you’re not a single parent and you would have no idea of what it is actually really truly like to be a single parent.
Firstly, when people say this, they are insinuating that being a single parent or ‘mother’ (as this article suggests) is a bad thing. Well excuse me, but don’t lump yourself into my life as if being a single parent is a chore. It is, in fact, a joyous experience for me. I love being a mother and I love being a single mother. There are many wonderful upsides that nobody seems to talk about. Number one being I don’t have to share. Which is great, because I never liked sharing as a child anyway.
Secondly, I don’t have to discuss my child’s education, medical, emotional or any other kind of decisions with anyone; I can do as I please. It’s me raising her 100% and she is happy, well adjusted emotionally, physically healthy and thriving. Reading at a year 3 level in fact. Must have been all those horrible nights I read her books all on my lonesome before she went to sleep. I hope you’re getting the sarcasm there.
The fact is this: I think these people who cry ‘single parent’ simply miss their partner. They wish they were around more, but let’s get one thing straight. Their partner is around. They’re at the end of the phone, a Skype conversation away, a text message during the day. Their partners do come home, whether it’s late or not. They do eventually go on holidays together and enjoy family time and when they do – I bet it’s precious, because they had to wait for it.