dating

"I'm single, and I'm more than okay with that."

I’m single, and I’m more than okay with that.

When I’m watching my good friend prepare for her wedding (and I’m about as close to walking down the aisle as I am to becoming an astronaut), I’m still okay with that.

When I’m seeing my two old flatmates get engaged and save for their dream holiday together (and I’m loosing sleep trying to figure out whether to agree to a breakfast date – breakfast??), I’m still more than okay with that.

Why? Because I am wearing comfy underwear (comfy = granny panties), I ate an entire pizza to myself last night, and I can go two weeks without shaving my legs.

(Really, I have no idea why I’m single.)

While I enjoy celebrating my friend’s successes in love and life, I also take time to rejoice in the small liberties of singledom.

Between attending engagement parties, hearing about date nights, and sticking wedding invitations on the fridge, it’s important to remember that being single can be one of the most liberating, enjoyable and possibly hairy (note to self: need to buy a razor) times of your life.

Dress like a ‘so-what-I’m-single?’ boss lady.

I have a pair of brightly-coloured and stripy thermal pants (I’m a catch, clearly).

Everyone who’s ever seen these pants (the lucky few include my close family and unfortunate friends and flatmates) say they are outrageously appalling.

But I’m single, I don’t have to impress anyone, and sometimes (when I’m feeling extra single-and-crazy) I wear these pants with a multicoloured zebra top and hot-pink, leopard-print Ugg boots and I will go to the grocery market.

No one is embarrassed to walk with me, because no one is with me. And I don’t care who judges me as I buy buckets of ice cream when I’m in Woolworths in my crayon-coloured thermal pants, because that exact scenario is my prerogative as a single lady.

When I find true love, I’m hope my unfailing fashion sense will be accepted. But I feel like there’s a lot of dressing-up-for-dates, keeping-the-uggs-hidden before that happens. If you haven’t noticed, I’m just not in the mood.

Never change your clothes for a man (possibly one of the myriad reasons I am single) – Sara, 23.

I like being able to run naked from the shower to your bedroom to get dressed without it being mis-construed as foreplay – Tess, 37.

I really love wearing lipstick, and I wonder if I would be able to do so as often as I do in a relationship. Because it’s not exactly kiss-friendly – Jane, 23.

Comfy undies *read granny panties* all the time – Kim, 26.

Not having to shave/wax parts of my body regularly.  Like I still do them when I have to but I can comfortably go a few weeks and I’m sweet – Lauren, 24.

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You can watch the Kardashians. all. the. time.

If there’s one device in the house that is responsible for triggering and fuelling arguments between partners, it’s the television. There is also no other service more likely to breed contention than Netflix.

Switching between channels, deciding who get’s first dibs, trying to get the other person to pipe-the-f**k-down because you’re watching your show, dammit. All these frustrations are because of the television.

But what happens when there is no other person? And that television is no longer a hot-bed for heated whispers and passive-aggressive placements of the remote?

In this strange paradise, the television becomes doorway into every bad, shameful, Keeping-Up-With-The-Kardashians-inspired TV show you’ve ever wanted to indulge in. No shame. No judgements. No hiding remotes.

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I can watch whatever I want on Netflix, whenever, and not have to wait until my signifant other is there with me – Rachel, 23.

So many people I know are promised to their partners when it comes to certain shows. Eff that – Sophie, 31.

I can do sit ups in the ad breaks and no one will look at me like I’m a weirdo – Amy, 29.

Your dietary habits are nobody’s business

It’s a fact. You will never have so much food freedom than you do when you’re single.

You’re cooking for your taste-buds only (whether that’s chickpeas with chickpeas, or a killer five-course degustation that you’ve spent the afternoon preparing), you don’t have to worry about any “could have more lime” feedback. It’s your dinner, and you’ll do what you want with it.

By the same token. Being single means there is always an excuse to eat the entire pizza; any leftovers are all yours; and, if wine and cheese, or cereal and yoghurt, constitute your dinner on a Wednesday night, you do not need to brace yourself against a lecture in nutrition.

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NO sharing. Ever!!! – Claire, 25.

You can cook using whatever’s in your cupboard, even if it’s only a tin of tomatoes and Worcestershire sauce – Kate, 24.

My husband would say the best thing about being single is being able to leave crumbs in the butter without the threat of divorce. So disgusting – Jess, 37.

Your plans are your own

If you want to seize the day in sweat pants and no shirt, with a movie marathon on the couch (see the above point re. television liberties), you can do that.

If you want to get up early, go for a jog, do a yoga class, and pat yourself on the back for being so healthy, and active and positive, you can do that too.

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You can also up and leave to another city or country, without any heartbreak or tough discussions.

Or you can spend all the money you have in savings (that were likely for the exact purpose of upping and leaving to a different country) on buying gin and tonics and tacos all weekend. Either way, it’s your life.

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My mood is…my mood. Like I know how I’m going to feel that day. When you’re in a relationship, often someone else’s issues have a bearing on your mood – Naomi, 40.

No cross checking plans – Gemma, 26.

Travelling is so much easier. You don’t have to consider anyone else’s life, finances, personal preferences etc. – Camille, 30.

I could up and move to London tomorrow and it would only really affect me (and my housemates, I guess) – Sam, 22.

I don’t have to think about having to share my bank account – Anne, 27.

You can … dream

At times, being single can be crushingly disheartening. You find yourself thinking about lovers past, what might have been, and asking when, when you might be able to feel that ‘spark’ again.

But when you’re in a good mood (or if you’ve recently listened to a slew of Beyonce bangers) being single can bring about a certain level of optimism.

Because you can choose who you’d like to spend your time with.

There is a whole world of opportunities just waiting for you. And when Liam Hemsworth decides he’d actually prefer to be with you for the rest of eternity (soz Miley), you’re 100% free to agree jump onto that.

I can fantasise that one day we are going to meet/marry Ryan Gosling. Those in a relationship have like…an obligation to another person. if I had a boyfriend, I probably couldn’t get away with wearing my Ryan Gosling shirt – Ashleigh, 28.

It’s like the chicken and egg situation. Do I wear my R Gos Tshirt because I’m single, or am I single because I wear it? – Alana, (who is also 28 and clearly in agreement with Ashleigh).

And then there is this, very real, very confronting pearl of wisdom.

I think the best thing about being single is the hope. The hope that you’ll find someone wonderful that will be the perfect fit. When you’re in a relationship you already have to deal with what you’ve chosen – the fantasy is gone. Of course I love my lovely wonderful partner but he is not a fantasy he is a reality – Mary, 26.

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