I am so sorry to do this to you all.
Last week, I said we would never have to look at stupid bedrooms ever again. I said sayonara to boring bed heads, fully believing the monotonous hell was over. I thought there wasn’t another bedroom in the entire city of Melbourne to be renovated. I thought we were done. I thought we were free.
I was wrong.
Because this week, the contestants renovated those weird barn-like areas above their garages. And what did four out of five couples choose to fill their weird barn-like areas with?
More fujucking bedrooms.
Oh, and garages… which precisely nobody cares about. Except for Ronnie and that Volkswagen dude who insisted on charging everyone’s electric cars.
The producers tried desperately to convince us that these bedrooms were different to the other 193829 bedrooms we’ve already seen. After an hour and a half, I’m still unsure what this difference is, aside from “these ones are very, kinda, slightly, marginally bigger”.
Sarah and Jason: 26.5/30
Sarah and Jason didn’t finish.
We all knew this was coming, you see, because Sarah and Jason’s rooms all follow the same irritating narrative: Sarah and Jason start later than everyone. Are nonplussed about this. Continue to work at a regular pace, with no real urge to catch up. Act generally blase about everything, until approximately two hours before tools down, when they express surprise and frustration that they won’t finish. Present an unfinished room to the judges. Proceed to blame the tiling guys for everything.
Their room was mediocre. If I see another navy bed arrangement I’m going to scream.
Click through to see Clint and Hannah’s bedroom and ensuite…