OK so last week we complained that “spare bedroom week” WAS NOT A REAL WEEK. But *this* week? The producers are clearly trolling us, because this is now “anything but a bedroom week”.
I’m sorry, what? Anything but a bedroom week?
ANYTHING BUT A BEDROOM WEEK?
I just… I don’t… understand… but… how does that… what?
UGH. Fine. “Anything but a bedroom week” it is. We could literally just call this what it directly translates to, which is “study” or “office” week. But FINE.
Oh, wait. Just when I thought everything was hopeless and that life didn’t make sense anymore, Shaynna appears. And she looks like this:
Let's get into it, shall we?
Ronnie and Georgia: 21/30
It's pretty surprising to see this duo so far down in the scoring. I'd feel sad about it, but then there was that time they stopped Elyse and Josh from living their best plunge pool life and I don't feel so bad anymore.
What's that word that starts with K? Oh, yes, Karma. This is Karma.
It'd be enough for the judges to just go "meh" at their "lounge room" - but instead they take it one step further.
"THAT IS THE WORLD'S UGLIEST MIRROR THAT BELONGS ON THE SET OF ALADDIN," Le Vogue Man says with a mixture of fury and outrage before weeping into a gold throw cushion.
“It can’t decide if it’s an old-fashioned sitting room or a night club… a bad night club," he adds.
The judges' stint in Ronnie and Georgia's Nightclub of Death has a heavy peppering of "this feels wrong to me!" and "I don't know what it's trying to be!" and please let's get on to the next room before they all have an interior-style induced aneurysm.
Click through to see Ronnie and Georgia's lounge room...
Sticks and Wombat: 21/30
Here's absolutely everything I have to say about Sticks and Wombat's office: It's just an office. It is tres boring. It is the size of a very small, very cramped shoe box. The wall colour shade is named “lime sherbet” and should have never existed beyond the year 1989.
Turtleneck Judge said the "feng shui" of the room was totes off, Shaynna said it resembled a "broom closet" and Le Vogue Man said "I don't mind it."
Click through to see Sticks and Wombat's study... I have, like, three images because it was so boring.
Sarah and Jason: 21/30
Guys how cute was it when Sarah and Jason's West Elm couch didn't fit properly so they had to get a smaller one and West Elm was completely accommodating and nearly made Jason cry and product placement is so seamless these days and good sweet Jesus I just want to buy a nice West Elm couch from those helpful West Elm people?
Also - another side note - can these two STOP SPENDING SO MUCH MONEY PLEASE? They're legitimately going to end up with a kitchen that looks like a jacket potato. Less West Elm, more Fantastic Furniture pls.
When it came to their lounge room, the judges didn't say much, apart from the fact their ceiling was "overkill".
Having a ceiling rose, industrial light fitting, and three sky lights is bad because "everything is fighting for your attention" and for the first time on this show I actually understand what they mean.
Their room would've got 22/30, but they had a point deducted for a reason I don't care to remember.
Click through to see Sarah and Jason's lounge...
Elyse and Josh: 26.5/30
Everyone keeps calling this room a "getaway for kids or parents" because the producers have told them they can't have another study again because it's not good for the "anything but a bedroom" vibe. So "getaway" room it is.
In this getaway room, a chair. A desk. A library wall. So, you know, to the untrained eye, it's legitimately just an office with a day bed. But whatever.
Le Vogue Man said "this is the kind of room I get really excited about", but Shaynna was stressing over the fact the window was "undressed" and therefore completely starkers and a nudie rudie.
It's not very decorous at all, you know?
Everyone also kept saying this room was a "place to disappear" which is super menacing and dark and sounds like something a serial killer would say but... sure.
Click through to see Elyse and Josh's "getaway"...
Clint and Hannah: 28.5/30
THEY DID IT YOU GUYS OMG THEY DID IT. Not only did rookies Clint and Hannah get out of last possie, they bloody took the whole week out.
It's a freaking great "sitting room". Turtleneck even said "I really love the proportions" which is what I say when I eat a dinner that "serves two people."
Meanwhile, Le Vogue Man said "it's a room I want to linger in."
I have nothing more to say. It brought a tear to my eye. Our national treasures, the underdogs, were always destined for this.
Click through to see Clint and Hannah's "sitting room"...
Until next week!
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