By GEMMA ASKHAM.
There’s no easy way to say it: you’ve been doing sex wrong. Nope, you’ve got the basics right – that goes in there, possibly there (ask first).
But your timing is out of whack.
This isn’t about orgasming at the same time – hey, we’re not all Hollywood movie directors – we’re talking about upping your chances of orgasming at all.
Because an orgasm rarely happens in these circumstances: If the only time your naked bodies convulse is when both your necks jolt up after accidentally falling asleep. If five hours ago you needed a coffee to have the strength to type an email.
Rule 1: Sex is always more important than loading the dishwasher.
The end of the day is not sex o’clock, it’s sleep o’clock. Think of the enthusiasm you had taking off your make-up – and that involved moving one face wipe four inches. Sex requires nudity, actual muscle use, and possibly more wiping up. It’s no wonder a new study found Australians are having less sex than a decade ago: we’re all fackered. That’s attempting to fuck while knackered.
Example: My boyfriend and I had been dating for a few months when we went to Paris, land of epic romance. Because we wanted to maximise the romance, we did not fuck first thing when we were fresh as a daisies and excited with life and each other. No. We wanted to wait until we had seen Paris. Until we had spent seven hours walking the streets, an hour in the rain at the Eiffel Tower, after we had endured a blazing, angry row over where to eat, and then got very drunk on ‘romantic’ drinks.
Which, of course, meant that we didn’t have sex once that trip.
Sightseeing = No sex for you.