BACH FLUFF: Two Instagram posts might have revealed who wins The Bachelor.

Um. Awkward.

You know how The Bachelor contestants are made to sign about a cajillion contracts, PROMISING the Channel 10 producers that, no, they won’t reveal who took home Matty’s dangly bits heart?

Yeah, it looks like that’s all ruined this year – and we’re only up to the bloody second episode.

Listen: Oh, can we please also discuss this season’s mean girls? Thanks.

You see, just four days ago, Matty and the frontrunner for his heart Laura (who, by literally every single measure, is the favourite to take out the season… oh, and she also looks just like Georgia Love) posted some very similar photographs.

The snow, people. They were both at the bloody snow. On. The. Same. Day.

“Totes Gnarly dude…..totes” ✌????#everythinghurts #noseriouslyeverythinghurts #mypoorbutt

A post shared by Laura Byrne ???? (@ladyandacat) on


Now, obviously, I don’t need to tell any of you what this most definitely means: Laura is the freaking winner of The Bachelor 2017. Oh, and Matty and Laura were making a snow baby in the snow cabins.

It’s all over, red rover.

It’s done.



The cat’s outta the bag.

Of course, sneaky ol’ Laura tried to throw us off the scent, adding the tags “New Zealand” to her snow-filled posts, while Matty VERY SPECIFICALLY INCLUDED HE WAS IN AUSTRALIA. But you know what, guys? #WeSeeRightThroughYourDeviousHashtags because #We’veBeenDoingThisForFiveYears.

I might not have that law degree my loved ones hoped for, but goddamn I’ve dedicated my life to a worthy cause.

Congratulations on being able to touch those abs forevermore, Lozza. Seriously, congratulations.